Saturday, June 21, 2008

How Many Times Have I Seen This Episode?

I enjoy taking trips to the bookstore. I could browse for hours at the different titles and if I had unlimited amounts of disposable income that is where I'd spend it. That sounds weird now since I spent the better part of the morning unsuccessfully searching for the perfect peep-toe pump. Suffice it to say, I never the leave the bookstore disappointed or empty handed.

Today's trip did not involve searching for the latest bestseller. Although I have finally reached the last chapter of New England White ... I'm sorry to say I was a little disappointed with this one ... I was not looking to find it's replacement. This trip involved research. Writer's research. I need help getting this thing going. What thing? The freelance career that I want to have established by the time my youngest graduates from high school in four years.

My plan for the day was to go to the beach. While soaking up the sun I planned to get some reading and some writing done. I hadn't planned on the rain and it threw everything out of whack and put me in a foul mood. I yelled at my daughter over something small and I hibernated in my room for several hours. Then it dawned on me ... I am a slacker. I have been telling my son for years that I don't want him to end up like me ... figuring out what he wants to do when he's forty. I want him to take advantage of the possibilities now while he's young. I want him to do something. And there I was lying in bed watching TBS for hours on end because I'm a slacker. I now understand why people post up in the sandwich shops and coffee houses with their laptops. They are not pretentious posers ... they are trying to get the hell away from the television. That's why I went to the bookstore.

I don't think I have ever really set very high expectations for myself. I expect things to come relatively easy, you know, because I think I'm special. It's easy for me to switch gears if things don't go my way. That's a tough thing to admit. Geez, spoiled and a slacker. I really believe that it's not too late to turn things around. I have to realize that no one is going to wave a wand over me and turn me into a focused, hardworking person who never quits. I have to get up every friggin' day and decide to do this thing. Because I want it so badly.

While at the bookstore I picked up a Writer's Digest. Since I voluntarily let my subscription to Essence slip I figure I could replace it with something that will actually help me. I also bought a book called Get a Freelance Life. Here's the thing: I know how to write but I don't know how to pitch myself as a writer. One thing I do know is that the answer is not in another episode of King of Queens.


Sharon said...

Oh how very much alike we are my friend. Tonight I actually wrote something worthwhile and in my opinion meaningful for the first time in months and to accomplish this monumental achievement, all I had to do was to turn off TBS.

The next thing I know, I decide to read a few blogs and dropped by here for the first time in what seems like eons and find this particular post. Well I've changed...and I don't need to be hit with a stone any larger than the one you just dropped on me in this post! So beginning tomorrow, I am returning to my old routine of leaving my house, laptop in hand to write somewhere else at least three times a week for three hour stretches. So thank you old friend for the kick in the pants...I definitely needed it as things have typically come too easily to me in the past as well ;)

Blu Jewel said...

I'm an avid reader and bookstores are like my drug when I need a pick me up or to find out what's new in the literary world.

I tend to order most of my books through online book clubs, but still enjoy going to Borders and such to pass time, relax, and check out books/magazines I might not ordinarily seek.

I recommend All About Love by Susan L. Taylor, which I'm currently reading. Eric Jerome Dickey has a new one called Pleasure, which I hear is pretty good. His last two books, Sleeping with Strangers and Waking with Enemies are really good.

My writing has been for mostly naught of late, but I do hope to get my mojo back and pen some things.

Stay well.


LadyLee said...

Well, I write all the time. And I think being in the classes helps because I GOTTA turn something in, or read aloud for 30 minutes. I have no class this summer, just so I can catch up on all the frickin' detailed editing of all the stuff I wrote over the past 6 months, and plan for the fall quarter at the same time.

I have convos with my favorite author every now and then (she REALLy gets me motivated). And believe it or not, Oldgirl, not a week goes by that I don't pick up my dog-eared copy of Raymond's Daughters. The techniques you used in that book (backstory, multiple points of view, etc.)... I'm STILL learning from it. When I need motivation, THAT's the one book I pick up.

I go to the local library and write sometimes. If just for a couple of hours, so be it. Seems like we just need different surroundings, something- to get us moving. It helps me. I can see how the bookstores and coffee houses are so stimulating now.

The television is an idiot box. It is chewing gum for the brain, plain and simple. A couple of years ago, we had a church fast that included only limited television- 2 hours a day. I could not BELIEVE how much I got done during that time. It was like the hours of the day were multiplied or something. TV has done us in, that's for sure. I get much done when it's not on. But gotta veg out every once in awhile. So DON'T beat yourself up too bad, Ma!

I think it's MUCH better to realize and ponder the fact that you need to change some things, rather than be totally oblivious and not realize that you need to change at all.

When I DO realize I need to change, well, I have won half the battle for sure. I'm not at the finish line, but I can at least SEE it far off in the distance.

I'm just glad that you are pondering it all. You thinking about it, and it means your mind is working out a roadmap to that place of peace. And that should give you hope!

Really though.

Blah Blah Blah said...

I believe you speak things into existence. For the longest time people would ask if I was a writer and for the longest time I would say no, I'm not. I wuld tell them that if anything...I am a procrastinator.

I need to speak positive into my life...'cause I've been coasting on negative and it hasn't done nothing for me.

I'm glad you are tryna change that around...:)

Believer 1964 said...

Sometimes it rains for a reason. I believe everything has purpose.