I used to take a yoga class. I bought a few yoga DVDs. I tried St. John’s Wort. Deep breathing. I saw a therapist. I drank herbal tea. I was even prescribed xanax once.
All of this in an effort to relieve stress and feel content. I used to be “bunched up” all the time. I was unsettled, angry and sad all at the same time and I was looking for a quick fix. I needed relief and I needed it immediately. Instantaneously. Quick, fast and in a hurry! Get the picture? What I failed to realize was that my discontent did not occur overnight. It built up over many years. Years of being disappointed. Years of being unsure of myself. Years of being afraid … I lived my life on automatic pilot: doing everything I was supposed to do … taking care of the children, going to work, going to church, etc. but my heart wasn’t in any of it.
I just want to say to anyone that is interested, that there are no quick fixes. Feeling better takes time. The first time I actually said out loud, “I just want to feel better” was January 2009. I was having a conversation with Bryan’s sister and that was when I started working out. That, coupled with much prayer and meditation, studying and admitting to myself what the real issue was: my FEAR, gave me the relief that I so desperately craved. I have to keep saying this: admitting and releasing the fear was a huge step and really the main thing that allowed me the freedom to be who I am. I have never been happier. No … not happy ... I’m joyful. Joyful because even though life isn’t perfect, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter what comes my way, I’m going to be fine. Why? Because I’m not afraid, suckas!
Remember: No quick fixes. Consistency is the key.