Thursday, July 15, 2010

It's a Celebration

I’m getting another tattoo this weekend.

I got my first one about 11 years ago after thinking about it for 9 years. This time I’ve only been thinking about it for a year. My son and I are going together.
Mine will be a variation to this theme:

It's going on my left arm. My other one is on my right leg.

I wish I was one of those women who learned lessons earlier in life. But I’m not. I took the not-so-easy route to get where I am and I know I’m not alone so I don’t feel bad. It’s just sometimes I regret the wasted time. On the other hand, is it truly time wasted if I learned something?

I think not.

I’m celebrating freedom. Not just freedom from an oppressive relationship but freedom in my mind. I kept myself trapped in certain situations because I didn’t want to appear a certain way. As much as I talk about not caring what people think … in some areas … I really do care. And it was that caring that kept me bound. When I divorced for the second time at 36 I really didn’t care that I was a twice-divorced single mother. I had to do me in order to keep my sanity. Then as I got a little bit older something shifted and I started caring again.

Well, I feel another shift coming.
I have to do me.
I have to be free.
I have to be happy.
I have to be comfortable in my skin.

As much as I believe this word is way overused: I have to be authentic. And pretending to be someone I’m not and pretending to be happy about it is the exact opposite of authentic.

On 4th of July weekend I celebrated my independence with a weekend trip to the spa. This Saturday, on my son’s birthday, I will celebrate my freedom with a trip to the tattoo parlor.

Life is funny.

8 comments:

Sarah Mahalo said...

Thanks for swinging my space- I'm itching to get a new tattoo as well- can't wait in fact.

Good luck!

Diva (in Demand) said...

Chele....this post rocks!

TJ said...

So many people never get it, so getting it later - not a big deal! Congrats on your milestone. The tattoos look beautiful.

LadyLee said...

Man. I hear you on this wasted time thing. Shoulda, woulda, coulda... Ugh.

Since I've turned 40, things are a bit, I don't know, more glaring. I look at situations a bit more carefully: is this person or situation helping me towards my destiny, or is the situation or person keeping me in bondage? If it's the latter, kick it to the curb... QUICKLY. It's alright, jokers will be mad, but that's cool. I'm moving forward.

Good for you, Oldgirl. Good for you. No fear here. Only freedom.

LB said...

I know the tattoo that I want, but I'm stuck on a location.

I'm a "slow learner" at times, but at least, I learn!

MsBabyPlan said...

I would love a tatoo but I asked the price and it is too expensive at the moment so I want to wait.

I really wanted to tatoo somthing meaningful and womanly and show it of this summer, but I guess I have to wait to put the money together first. I hope I can do it one day.

ShellyShell said...

I want one more tat. I have two with my last one in 1995. I keep saying i'm going to get another one but haven't.

Congrats on the freedom. At the end of the day at least you learned from your lessons. There's a lot of people out there that never get it!

This One Woman said...

Yes indeed!! I love this post deeply. It's being combined with a couple of things that happened to me this week and it has me thinking. Better than that, it has me feeling.