It’s a new day and I’m happy … like a room without a roof.
Seriously though. I wish I had a camera to see what exactly goes on inside my head and my body when I go through these weird mood swings. I had such an amazing day on Easter Sunday. I went to church and was completely overwhelmed by the service. It was beautiful. Then I spent the afternoon with my Mom and we had dinner together. Then after she left I curled up on the couch and watched a movie. It was a pretty good day. Then when it was time to go to bed, all that happiness seemed to just disappear. I woke up Monday feeling empty and sad.
What is that?
I skipped the gym and went to work fighting off the “I hate my job Monday blues”. The whole day was just bad. At the end of the day I decided to go for a 3-mile run and I felt pretty good after that. I skipped a meeting that I had scheduled for that evening and worked on a lesson that I had to prepare on the 23rd Psalm. Yes, the Lord is my shepherd.I went to bed still feeling kind of wonky. Woke up this morning and for the second day in a row, skipped the gym and got ready for work.
The sun is shining and I’m having a good hair day. I don’t have that heavy, weighted down feeling that I had yesterday. Weird. I should’ve become a doctor.I’m anxious. I’m almost eight months away from FREEDOM and I’m anxious. Doubt keeps sneaking into my psyche and it’s a constant exercise in reassuring myself that I’m making the right move.
I have so many decisions to make and so many actions to accomplish by the end of the year. It’s overwhelming because I don’t feel like I’m being productive when it comes to reaching my goals. Time to re-evaluate.