Day 235

 “Forget what’s gone.  Appreciate what still remains.  Look forward to what’s coming next.”

One of the best things about giving up alcohol is the ability to think more clearly instead of seeing everything through an alcohol-soaked haze.  It is not something that happens as soon as you put the bottle down, but it does happen over time. 

I’ll be 58 years old this year and I don’t know what it’s “supposed” to feel like, but I don’t feel old, and I don’t feel like I should be sitting in a rocking chair somewhere waiting to die.  I feel alive and vibrant and I’m looking forward to my future.  I still want to go places and I still want to see things.  I still want to experience things.  I am laser-focused on retirement and the big question is:  What are you gonna do once you’re not tied to a 9-5?

There is a line in the movie “Bridges of Madison County” where Meryl Streep’s character talks about how a woman puts her dreams to the side when she has children and how their dreams and their futures become the focus.  I can agree with that.  Once I had children all my focus was on them and after decades of not focusing on yourself you kind of forget how to do it.  I want to believe that I had dreams once and for a long time I struggled to even remember what those dreams were.

After 2 divorces, raising two children and 235 days of alcohol freedom I think I remember.

More to come …

Day 235