Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Outnumbered



Socrates Fortlow.

I was introduced to Mr. Fortlow years ago and for some reason I had this uncontrollable urge to be reintroduced to him. So I ordered this DVD and after Amazon lost the first one and re-ordered a second copy I was able to see Mr. Fortlow again.

After watching him I realized why I needed to see him again. Socrates is his own man. He lives on his own terms and he answers to no one. He has a violent side but he cannot hide his huge heart. Still, as independent as he is there is still this nagging, this deep pain that just won't go away. No matter how hard he tries to do right there is still someone who wants to keep him down, to hold his past against him. He will always feel outnumbered.

Corporate friggin-America has me feeling this way.

Always outnumbered. My suggestions go unheard but they are heard loud and clear when they come out of a pair of thinner lips. Requests are conveniently forgotten or just ignored. I try not to point fingers. I say to myself, "Perhaps I'm just not able to articulate my thoughts in an effective way." Then a small voice answers back and says, "That's some bullshit, right there." You've heard of the $40 million slave? Well, that's how I feel sometimes on a much smaller scale. I mean, in a very short period of time I earned bonuses in the 5-figure range. Okay, cool. Like I said, I earned every single penny. But I feel that the belief is that those dollars somehow take the place of respect or common decency. I have always enjoyed the work that I do but it is impossible to do what I do without the politics that go along with it. So what's the answer? Maybe there isn't one right now. I really need to give this some thought. There will be no change at the job. There can only be a change in how I respond to what's going on at the job.

3 comments:

Blah Blah Blah said...

I know you've read me but I'm not sure you know this about me...
I'm not good at existing in the corporate world....I know I know...I've been in it for years...but me...Bloopty...well I find myself biting my tongue more and more lately.

Something has got to give.
A change in the responding is a good start for you... me? I think a change maybe too much for them to handle. lol

lyre said...

Is your profession one you can strike out independently? Self-employment? We find ourselves being defined by jobs that wont give us the compensation or credentials that we deserve. I say You define you and let them know you know who you are AND your worth!

Aziza said...

Sometimes it feels like I have to fight a battle at work every single day. I have to fight to be heard and even recognized in meetings as the only person of color in the room. I'm only called upon when a problem or emergency project rolls around, which means that I have to work through my lunch, stay late for work, and take work home. I'm forgotten around bonus time, but the thinner lips aren't. If I didn't have a mortgage and a couple of other bills, I would say to heck with that job. I wish there was a better way to make a living.