I was sitting on the couch the other evening and all of a sudden it dawned on me: I have a beautiful life. Nothing spectacular happened that day, in fact it was quite ordinary. I don't know where the thought came from but I thought about it and smiled. Ever since that night I've been telling myself everyday: I have a beautiful life.
I've always had a beautiful life but I believe that for many years I confused beauty with perfection. My life is far from perfect but it is absolutely beautiful.
For example, last night I was looking in the mirror. I was checking myself out in a full length mirror while only in my undies. I believe that I am beautiful but I noticed some imperfections. I mean, the arch in my back that was once there ... gone. I was heavier ... not overly so ... but definitely heavier. I'm still not sure how I feel about that but the point is, not one of those imperfections took away from my beauty. I am beautiful. I believe that my imperfections help to create the beauty. Just like my life. I don't have perfect kids or a perfectly manicured lawn. I don't have a diverse portfolio or big family Sunday dinners. But I can still see the beauty that greets me every single day.
One of the things that I have been trying to work on since the beginning of the new year, is how I respond when I'm in the middle of a less than desirable situation. I'm learning that if my response comes from a place of love than the results are much more positive than the alternative. It's not easy though. Because my natural instinct is to be loud and combative when things don't go my way. It doesn't tend to serve me well. I know there is a time to show that kind of emotion but you have to pick your times carefully.
I don't know. I have a lot on my mind but I feel so good right now and it's for no particular reason. I'm just grateful to be here. I'm grateful for the people in my life that make it so beautiful.
Book update: 159 pages/32,010 words