Happy Memorial Day!
I'm in my flannel pajamas, hair up in a ponytail, wearing my glasses, drinking coffee ... get a visual. Not very flattering but I couldn't be happier.
I want to be nicer.
And I think it's a shame that I have to try so hard to be something that seems to come so naturally for others. I can be as evil as a snake and I wonder why people who don't have to put up with me decide to put up with me. I'm not beating myself up ... I love me ... I just wish I were nicer.
This has been a long, hectic few days which is why I'm still in my pj's and not out enjoying the sunshine.
As you know my guy is a musician and somtimes he requests my presence on stage with him. I say I love to do it ... but usually I'm just not into it. The smoke-filled rooms, the drunks, the inappropriately dressed women ... I'm too old for all that shit. However, last month he asked me to reserve the 22nd (last Thursday) for him. He's making an attempt to get a consistent gig from one particular bar owner and he really believed my presence would help. Really? Thursday night? You know that's a work night, right? Of course, all this dialogue is internal. He rarely asks for anything so I all I said aloud was: Okay.
Thursday arrives and instead of going rocker chick and wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I chose a really cute summer dress which my guy actually picked out for me. I love the dress because it's long enough for someone my age and cut low enough to create an illusion. It's sexy as hell. I figured, even if I didn't feel like being there I could give the audience something to look at. I had only intended to stay through the first set ... about an hour. But the reception from the audience was so positive and I was having such a good time I stayed until the end. I got home after 1:00 a.m., got up at 6:00 and went on to work.
Friday night my guy was putting on a recital for his music students. He asked me to help organize the evening by making announcements, passing out programs and collecting student information sheets from parents. The recital was an opportunity for the students to play for the first time in public and be accompanied by a bass player and drummer. Sometimes I would sing with them. The families in the audience were so proud of their kids and you could really tell they appreciated all the effort. I told my guy that the opportunity that he is affording these children is invaluable.
Saturday morning I was up with the chickens so I could make my 9:00 facial. I love my esthetician. The economy is in the toilet right now, but this is one luxury that I cannot afford to give up. I've stopped buying expensive shoes and bags, I'm buying store-brand groceries and I'm bringing a bagged lunch to work. I'm doing my part so shut up!
Saturday afternoon I found myself on the bay again, watching the ships roll in and watching them roll away again ... B had an early gig on the deck of this restaurant so I decided to surprise him by showing up for support and of course he called me up to sing a few. I really wanted to come because he double booked himself for Saturday -- one gig from 5-8 and the next from 8:30 to 11:30 -- he was going to need help tearing down his equipment so he wouldn't be late for the second show. He was only five minutes late. I stayed for the second gig but only until 10:00 ... I was really tired at that point.
I had a little trouble getting up for church on Sunday morning but I made it. B and I both are part of the church band so there really was no question as to whether or not we'd make it. At the last minute I was asked to open the service with a solo ... so for the third day in a row I found myself in front of a microphone. I also made a commitment to our music director that I would come to the Sunday night service ... after we sang our four songs I scooted out of there. I came home and made some scrambled eggs and sausage for my daughter and me and just chilled out in front of the television.
I don't think I would have done so much running around if today hadn't been a holiday. But I'm glad I did. I had such a good time. I couldn't keep up that pace all the time but every now and then it's good to stretch yourself. Do things that you normally wouldn't do. It may surprise you how much fun you'd have. It did me.