I understand being supportive.
I understand being a good listener.
I understand being sympathetic.
I even understand being empathetic.
But you need to understand that when you vent and dump all your crap on me, you may walk away feeling better but I end up feeling like crap. It's a transference of negative energy.
I'm going back to yoga.
9 comments:
i totally agree with you on this. i try to be a mirror. i might listen, but i don't have to absorb. i can bounce that ish up offa me.
You'll have to teach me how to do that. It's like I take on the mood of the person that is closest to me ... it sucks.
I am with Nikki on this one. I will be a shoulder and an ear for you but I try really hard not to worry about other grown folks. It does not always work but that is when I pray and leave it at the altar!
Nikki... I like the mirror analogy. I'm gonna save that one for a rainy day... or at least until somebody else tries to rain on my day. LOL
Hawa, author of
Fackin Truth Blog (Personal Blog)
and
Cleanse Master Remix (Health Blog)
Naw, see I'm evil. If it gets too much for me I just say, "Here'
s a bus pass. Go find someone who will listen to you."
Nope, I'm shitty when it comes to venting people.
You're better than me Chele.
I am like Nikki. It is not hard to do. Just takes practice. I mastered in in meetings where I was always the scribe. I listen and filter what I need to and disconnect from the rest.
I feel you on the transfer. I can't help it. It's like I have been through so much ish myself, that I just relate. Maybe it comes with age. you know there aint to much we aint been through. LOL
I don't mind the venting. We all gotta wail sometimes. As long as we are taking it to that other level, i.e., NOW, let's work on the solution to the problem...
The issha that bothers me is that when you expect me to solve your problem. I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, that's harsh, but it's not gonna happen.
It depends on who I'm communicating with if it will be transferred. If I'm in a "free" relationship with the ventor it's no problem, and I'll chime in with my own issues. However, if you're a chronic complainer, pessimist, and always have a negative word about everything you will rub off on me, and it stinks!
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