A girlfriend of mine is married to a guy who is having a hard time dealing with the fact that she makes more money than him. A lot more. Historically he has not proven himself to be the best money manager so they now have separate bank accounts. From the way it sounds, he thinks that she has millions stashed away. In my mind, even if she did ... so what? She earned whatever is in her account, the bills are paid and she is working to keep them out of debt.
What's the problem? Why is this even an issue? If you're married and you're both working and all the bills are paid what difference does it make from which pot the money comes from? Why do men get "funny" when women make more cheese than they do?
Personally, when I was married I tried the joint bank account thing and it just didn't work. It was my responsibility to pay the household bills but I couldn't keep track of what was in the account because he was always making unnecessary withdrawals. Why? So he could have money in his pocket. After I heard that excuse we got separate accounts. I know people who can make it work but I wasn't one of them.
8 comments:
You always have such interesting posts. I really really really, did I say REALLY want to jack this for my relationship group and let them discuss 3 questions that I have.
1. If you felt your spouse couldn't manage money well (or even if they could) would you secretly stash money away?
2. Should either spouse be able to make unnecessary withdrawls that aren't "bill" or "household" related?
3. What is with this whole "money in his pocket" thing? And exactly how much money is enough money?
Dom: Feel free to jack away. I find it ironic that I would write something that would be useful to a relationship group. I'm the poster child for what not to do!
I think when I am married I will prefer separate accounts. It makes it easier to track the money.
I was married once and we had seperate accounts. I loved it that way. We agreed to how much each person would contribute to the expenses. (And that sure made it easy when the divorce rolled around. LMAO)
After all those years, I am engaged. And I still object to joint accounts with one exception: The account is setup for a specific money saving goal and each is responsible for putting in a certain amount each week (e.g. a vacation account). There's no way I'd share the account where my salary gets direct deposited.
Pride...men have a whole lot of it! I prefer separate accounts, I know and can track my spending habits better.
We have a joint account and seperate accounts. My direct deposit goes in my acount and I transfer whatever is needed into the joint account. But, not much because most of the bills are paid out of my account anyway.
We each need to have our own "mad money" that doesn't need discussion about where it is spent. We are both pretty good about that.
We don't have too many arguments about money anymore. We just try to pay wahtever needs to be paid on time and keep it moving.
I think the best way to handle money is to have one account designated for household bills and savings with an agreement that what goes in the household bill account is not a "pocket money" account. Maybe a double signature for the "bad with money" member.
Then whatever agreement with the balance of income can work. Some SAHMs have allowances. Double income folk sometime split the difference, some just keep what they made. doesnt matter tome. As long as the bills are paid.
Thanks Chele. They are having a good time with it. We all have issue. I surely aint perfect! Ha!
Post a Comment