Friday, January 9, 2009
The first two years were magical. We spent so much time talking and getting to know each other … and really getting to know each other. I knew I had found the one. Then in the beginning of the third year he betrayed me. At least that’s how I saw it. It was horrible and I didn’t understand how I could have misjudged his character so badly. Later that year I decided to give him a second chance but it took the entire fourth year to rebuild the trust. We moved into the fifth year and things were nice. Calm and peaceful but still a little unsettled. We were never able to recapture the magic that we enjoyed in those first two years. Now we are approaching the sixth year and I can honestly say that we have something better than magic. We have trust and honesty and comfort. We know each other and we depend on each other. Dare I say it … we need each other. We aren’t still figuring things out. We have it figured out: relationships take work. Real, hard, work. They don’t become perfect overnight ... that is, if they ever become perfect. In love there are no guarantees. I read somewhere this week that real love is about compromise and forgiveness. Admittedly, those have never been two of my strong suits. To me, compromise was too much like surrender and forgiveness only meant that I would give you another chance to hurt me. No thank you. With age truly comes wisdom. I’m not perfect and I try not to do anything to intentionally hurt someone but if I slip I would ask to be forgiven. I can’t always have everything my way and I’m too old to be pouting like a two-year old so I have learned the art of compromise. It’s amazing what you can learn in 2,381 days.