Friday, January 9, 2009

2,381 Days

The first two years were magical. We spent so much time talking and getting to know each other … and really getting to know each other. I knew I had found the one. Then in the beginning of the third year he betrayed me. At least that’s how I saw it. It was horrible and I didn’t understand how I could have misjudged his character so badly. Later that year I decided to give him a second chance but it took the entire fourth year to rebuild the trust. We moved into the fifth year and things were nice. Calm and peaceful but still a little unsettled. We were never able to recapture the magic that we enjoyed in those first two years. Now we are approaching the sixth year and I can honestly say that we have something better than magic. We have trust and honesty and comfort. We know each other and we depend on each other. Dare I say it … we need each other. We aren’t still figuring things out. We have it figured out: relationships take work. Real, hard, work. They don’t become perfect overnight ... that is, if they ever become perfect. In love there are no guarantees. I read somewhere this week that real love is about compromise and forgiveness. Admittedly, those have never been two of my strong suits. To me, compromise was too much like surrender and forgiveness only meant that I would give you another chance to hurt me. No thank you. With age truly comes wisdom. I’m not perfect and I try not to do anything to intentionally hurt someone but if I slip I would ask to be forgiven. I can’t always have everything my way and I’m too old to be pouting like a two-year old so I have learned the art of compromise. It’s amazing what you can learn in 2,381 days.


lyre said...

You are so right. And I'm so sad to say that THAT is why I don't really want one. Companionship I'd love, but that relationship mess again, you and B can have it.

This is a terrible comment to post. but I hope you understand know where I'm coming from. Been there done that, and it still didnt work.

But "they" tell me not to give up hope. But when? When I'm in the old folks home? lol I guess so.
Congrats on your happiness, girl. Does B have a brother? LOL
Have a great weekend!

You know, I'll never forget the limo post you put up a LONG time ago. That was hot! YOU GO B!

chele said...

I know where you're coming from and all I have to say is, "when you least expect it, expect it".

Ah yes ... the limo. Good times.

Serenity3-0 said...

Hmmm. Maybe that's why you commented the other day that relationships are hard work. I guess I have to mentally decide if I feel like rolling up my sleeves and working or if I want ot just keep playing around.

chele said...

@ Serenity: Your post definitely had me thinking. I kicked many dudes to the curb if they didn't act right. This is the fist relationship (including both marriages) that I was willing to actually work at.

LadyLee said...

You hit the nail on the head: relationships are hard work.

Really though.

Congrats to you and B! :)

Fabulous Financials said...

Beautiful. I love to read about successful relationships without the appearance of "perfection" to those on the outside looking in. When it comes to the hard part in relationships, I'll admit, I definitely have a lot of growing up to do. I'z working on it...

Congrats to you both! After being together for 6+ years, do you think you'll ever get married again? Third times a charm. LOL

Believer 1964 said...

Congratulations, and here's too many more!

A relationship is about commitment, and that commitment translates every day into making decisions that are selfless.

Some days I fail miserably and selfishness wins, but I am aware and working on it. Recently I began a 40-day challenge, The Love Dare. Though the insight is powerful, I have found that it also exposes the negative in my intent and/or actions. Help me Jesus!

Stop by to check it out.

Mr. B2B said...

One of the best posts (expressionism turned into true feelings) that i have come across in the past coupla months

first off, thanks for sharing!

and secondly, thanks for sharing (again)

won't even trip adding my rubbish comments

just a thank you!

Aunt Jackie said...

what a lovely testament to love. it warms my heart to hear about people finding their "one". I really believe that life is better place when we love and have love.