Cracked Screen or The Big Booty Blues

My daughter’s friend sat on her phone and cracked the screen. I gave her the speech about how she needs to be more responsible and shouldn’t leave her phone in a place where her friend’s butt could find it. And since this happened during my birthday month, she would not be getting a replacement until November. I’m selfish like that. So last Friday, I trotted on over to the T-Mobile store and told them that I needed to replace my daughter’s phone. They checked the records and saw that I had the insurance and that all I needed to do was call the insurance company, file the claim and they would send me a new phone after I paid the $130 deductible. (Sidebar: Why can’t I pay T-Mobile the deductible and have them give me a damn phone in the store?)

The chick behind the counter called the insurance company for me and gave me the phone so I could deal with them directly. I got some kid on the phone and he’s being all kinds of friendly and joking with me about how much texting teenagers do blah blah blah, all the while taking my information.

Kid: When was the phone damaged?

Me: I’m not sure … October 15th.

Kid: May I put you on hold for two minutes?

Me: Sure.

(After two minutes)

Kid: I’m sorry but the claim was denied because our records indicate that your daughter’s phone was not in use on the date you gave us so it’s not covered by your insurance.

Me: What?

Kid: The SIM card was in another phone at the time, so her sidekick was not in use and therefore not covered. Are you sure it was damaged on the 15th?

Me: No, I’m not sure.

Kid: I can transfer you to Customer Care and they can give you the exact last date of use.

Me: Thanks.

So the kid transfers me to Customer Care and they tell me that the last date of use was October 10th. I then ask her to transfer me back to the insurance company. This time, I get a different kid. Kid2 takes all my information and then directs me to a website where I’m supposed to download a form, fill it out, attach a copy of my driver’s license and fax it in to them for further processing. He then tells me that after three hours someone will call me to give me a status of the claim. He encourages me to be proactive and not wait for the call, either call them back or check the website to see the status of my claim.

Three hours pass and I’m at home. I check the website and I see that my second claim has been denied. WTF? I start to open up another claim with the last date of use as October 5th, then I say “screw it” and I call them so I can speak to a live person. I get this girl on the line. After she takes my information she says

Girl: I see two claims have already been denied and that you have started a third claim.

Me: That’s right. I’m not sure when the phone was damaged.

Girl: Well, we need that information in order to process your claim. We need to be sure that the phone was in use at the time and covered. I can transfer you to customer care …

Me: I don’t need you to transfer me to Customer Care. I’ve already spoken to Customer Care. It was Customer Care that told me that the last date of use was the 10th. Are you telling me that Customer Care doesn’t have the correct information regarding the last date of use?

Girl: They do have the information.

Me: Well, apparently they don’t! They told me the 10th and that claim was denied.

Girl: So this third claim with the 5th … is that just a date that you picked?

Me: Yes it is. I’m sorry, I don’t know when my daughter’s friend sat on her phone.

Girl: We need to know that information.

Me: So, what you are saying is that I can’t get my daughter’s phone replaced with the insurance that I’m paying for because I don’t have the exact date that the phone was damaged? I’m paying for this service and you’re telling me that I can’t use it? Is that what you’re telling me? Really?

Girl: May I put you on hold for two minutes?

Me: Sure.

(After two minutes)

Girl: I’m going to process the third claim with the date of the 5th and see if it is accepted. May I put you on hold for two minutes?

Me: Sure

(After two minutes)

Girl: The claim was accepted. I just need a few more pieces of information in order to verify your identify blah blah blah (Sidebar: If they could verify my identify over the phone, why did I have to fax in a copy of my driver’s license?)

After a few more minutes the transaction was complete and the phone was sent out overnight mail. I was on the phone with these people for 45 minutes during my lunch break and then another twenty minutes after I got home all because I didn’t know the exact date of loss. What the hell difference does it make? Seriously, someone please tell me.

I will be so happy when both my kids have their own phones and their own plans and I won’t have to deal with this nonsense. Come to think of it, when they have their own places to live, their own car insurance, their own everything … oh what a day that will be.