Catching Up

I feel as though I’ve been away forever. My internet and cable went out on Wednesday and it made for a very quiet time at the homestead. The Prince was all antsy because he couldn’t play his PS3 online with the rest of his geeky friends. The Princess was stuck watching DVDs. I caught up on my reading. Thankfully, the cable lady came out on Saturday and made everything right again. All is right with the world.

In addition to my awesome knives I also received an Italian cookbook for Christmas. Honey, I don’t think I will ever use sauce from a jar again. So far, I have made caprese salad, lasagna (without ricotta), spaghetti alla puttanesca, tortellini soup and tonight I’m making linguine with spicy chicken sauce. I love Italian food. Absolutely love it. And I was surprised at how easy it is to prepare good food. I’m getting the side eye from my son because if he can’t recognize something he won’t eat it. Whatever. He can eat peanut butter and jelly and oodles of noodles for all I care.

I spent New Year’s Eve with Bryan. Because he’s a working musician he’s usually working and I’m usually hibernating. I used to feel funny about leaving my kids on New Year’s, but I figured something out this year. They aren’t babies anymore. My daughter had no problem leaving me on Christmas … and while I didn’t do it for spite … I had to do something for myself and we had a great time. I accompanied him to a gig and I sang a few songs and brought in the new year with my man and a few dozen drunks. We spent the night at the adjacent hotel and when we got up the next morning we had breakfast at the Donut Dinette. Nothing special, just some dive where we could get some eggs, bacon, grits, toast and juice. It was nice. That night I took the offspring to see A.v.atar. It was a pretty good flick but it’s been out for about three weeks and still selling out at the theaters. We arrived an hour early for the first show and it was sold out so we had to go to the next one.

My lower back hurts. A lot. Bryan thinks I should get an MRI because he is a hypochondriac … I mean … he has back problems and he thinks I may have disc issues. Saturday night I couldn’t sleep at all because of the pain and I couldn’t get out of bed on Sunday morning without help. It’s pretty bad. I took two motrin and it seemed to help but I’m thinking there is a bigger problem.

I think you’re all caught up.

I’m terribly excited about the start of the new year. No fear, my friends. Let me clarify that … we are not denying the existence of fear. Fear, in some ways can protect us. However, if we take it too far it can cripple us from living our best life. So we accept that there are things that we should be fearful of, but we are confident in the knowledge that no matter what comes our way we are well equipped to handle it. We can make it through. I look back over my life, specifically over the last decade and life has taken some interesting turns. In 2000 my husband and I separated and eventually divorced in 2001. I bought my first home in 2002 and met Bryan and began the most significant relationship (next to the kids) of my life in 2003. In 2004 I left a job that I loved and proceeded over the next few years to jump from job to job all the while negotiating higher salaries. In 2008 my son graduated from high school and I realized that it’s only a matter of time before my babies would eventually grow up and leave me. In 2009 I admitted to myself that I was living a life full of fear and that it was absolutely crucial that I make a change. My life depends on it.

I’m excited.

Each time I boldly declare that I will not be afraid I am tested. So far I’ve had two tests. The first test I probably earned a D+. The second test was definitely a B+. I don’t like being tested but each time I get better at recognizing when I should be strong and not be afraid. I’m getting better.

Love is a powerful thing, my friends. Love is the only weapon that we can use to conquer fear. Love yourself and love those around you. And do it fearlessly!