Tuesday, January 5, 2010

No Looking Back

While reading LadyLee's post this morning I was reminded that many of my underlying fears are all based on things that occurred in the past. I was also reminded that the past has to stay in the past. If you are driving on the interstate and your eyes are focused on the rear view mirror instead of what is ahead, what is going to happen? You are going to crash, baby.

Let's keep the past in the past and keep our eyes focused on the future that is before us.

The following quote is from the Fearless Living book that I'm reading by Rhonda Britten: Fear is both the cause and effect of the feelings, thoughts, or actions that prohibit you from accepting yourself and realizing your full potential.

I don't know about you but that has been true in my case. I'm not going to spend one more minute dwelling on how much time I have wasted. Or lamenting over how much I could have accomplished if I wasn't so afraid. Woulda ... Coulda ... Shoulda ... It's a new day my friends and we are moving forward full steam ahead.

I got up this morning and went to the gym. I've known for a long time that evening workouts suck for me. First of all, the gym is way too crowded in the evenings. Secondly, after work I'm really too tired and unmotivated. I'm fortunate enough to have a job that allows me to come to work when I please. So today I decided to go to the gym at 7:00 and get to work by 9:00 instead of coming to the office at 7:30 and I feel wonderful. Besides, with all this Italian food that I'm cooking if I don't go to the gym my waistline will double in six months! Let's hope I can keep this up. Are you wondering what my gym habits have to do with living fearlessly? Well, for me living fearlessly is all about making sound decisions for yourself. Being brave enough to make those decisions and following through. Being brave enough to recognize when change is needed and making those changes. It's not about jumping out of an airplane or bungee jumping or running nekkid on the beach. It's the small changes that you make in your life that actually make your life better.

I dare you to identify one small thing that you've been wanting to change and go ahead and change it. It's freeing.

You know what? This time last year I was in the middle of a depression so deep that I was convinced that I wouldn't recover. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me but if something didn't change ... I don't know what would have happened. I began to work out, I saw a therapist for a while, I cried out to God repeatedly, I prayed and I studied. I worked hard last year to get better and just BE better. I'm still a work in progress, my friends but I know beyond a shadow of doubt that everything is going to be all right. I'm not afraid of what's next. I'm looking forward to it.

Aren't you?


lyre said...

I feel like a bad blogger friend because I did not know you were in such a state last year. I guess I was preoccupied with my mess. Isn't God wonderful that he can bring you out of the deepest darkness into the light. You know where I have been. Praise God from whom all blessings flow that I am not there now. The future my Blogging Sister is bright!
Happy New Year. Happiness is a choice and this year, I am making it mine! Love you!

chele said...

Lyre: You are a great friend. I had to hide how low I was because I was afraid of appearing weak.

No more! Love you too!

TJ said...

Following through does require bravery. I never thought about it that way before, though.

Remnants of U said...

I didn't know you were in a deep depression from reading your blog. I've always thought you were so brave to open up and admit and share your Discoveries. Even though my blog is so anonymous, I don't think I can open up like you have. But I guess that is one of the fears that I need to tackle. I must do things differently in 2010.

Thank you for sharing.

LadyLee said...

Well, I knew something was going on with you last year, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt it coursing all through the veins of your written words. I thought it was my imagination, but I guess not. At times, it was like you were putting a mirror up to my face with your words, though. I just hoped you would get to that place you needed to be, you know?

I wrote another post complimentary to yesterday's post, and what you wrote here interestingly wraps up a few loose ends in my heart of hearts. I do thank you for that.

You've inspired me well with your 45 day post run back before your birthday. It seems as if you're jumping way way beyond that here... I am happy for that. I am gaining much wisdom and understanding through your written words.

You over here whipping fear's butt, Oldgirl! Do that!

Blu Jewel said...

I recently faced something that I'd face something that wasn't so much a fear, but more of a bondage I'd inadvertently placed on myself. I'd convinced myself that The One would get his ish together and once he did, we'd finally be together. Then one day, while doing a lesson on Rebirthing My Spiritual Walk, I realized that was withholding love from myself and my life by waiting on him.

Since owning up to the reality of what that lesson taught me, I've since relinquished any thoughts of us being together and I've found that I'm pretty much over him. I am no longer in self-inflicted emotional bondage and now I'm very much free, open, and ready to receive love. So much so that I posted about it (the new him).

God works in mysterious ways and across all time zones as my cuzzie says, because the new him lives in Cali. I don't know what the future will hold, but I'm living in the joy of this moment and loving every minute of it.

Thanks for this post as it's given me an opportunity to put complete closure on that chapter of my life. (the old him)

It's all possible!

Bunny Brown said...

I need to copy and paste this whole post!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! So much word up and through!!

"It's the small changes that you make in your life that actually make your life better.

I dare you to identify one small thing that you've been wanting to change and go ahead and change it. It's freeing."

Oh man I so want this!!!

Anonymous said...

"It's the small changes that you make in your life that actually make your life better. I dare you to identify one small thing that you've been wanting to change and go ahead and change it. It's freeing."

I had to take this statement and post it as my FB status. I did give you credit :)