I know it’s winter and everything … but it is COLD!!! How can it be Connecticut-cold in VA? It was like twenty-something degrees when I woke up this morning. We’re not getting out of the 30’s all week.
Enough of that.
I don’t consider myself to be a people person and that is a shame because I really do like people. I have had people tell me that when they first meet me, they think I’m a real bitch but once they got to know me they changed their opinion.
I used to like that. Now, not so much. I don’t want to give off that impression anymore. My reasoning back then was that I was using a screening process to weed out the riff-raff. People who were “worthy” would see through the bitch façade and dig deeper until they saw the real me.
For real, people shouldn’t have to work that hard. Who do I think I am?
Here’s the truth: In the past, friends who claimed to love me have stabbed me in the back (boy do I have stories!) so I decided that in order to avoid that pain I would close myself off and not be open to making friends. I believe that you can’t hurt me if I don’t let you get close to me.
Come on, say it with me: YOU WILL NEVER FIND PEACE BY AVOIDING LIFE!!
I am the self-proclaimed Queen of Isolation. I avoid social situations and say it’s because I prefer my own company to anyone else’s. Well … that’s actually true … but I am missing out on some great friendships because of this behavior. Bryan is a people person and loves to be surrounded by a bunch of folks. “The more the merrier” is his motto. As you know, Tuesday is our date night and on more than one occasion he has invited other couples to spend it with us. At first I would get offended because it was our time and he was giving it away. But the truth is, I was just never open to meeting new people and possibly making new friends.
Fear is a mutha. Last night we had dinner with friends. It was fun. Not at first but I warmed up after a while. I’m easing my way into this. I am slowly accepting more invitations and not politely declining. Isolation is a dangerous thing. I have spent too many hours alone pondering and convincing myself that black is white. Sometimes we need that alone time to refresh and renew but we don’t need to become hermits.