Monday, February 15, 2010

What I'm Reading

How was everyone’s day yesterday? For the most part, mine was lovely. Since we celebrated the week before I wasn’t really expecting anything except a card. But I received a nice pair of hoop earrings from Swarovski. I’ve been talking about getting a nice pair of hoops for at least two years, instead of the cheapies that I usually wear. Also, we had a giveaway at church and I received a big box of chocolates, which I promptly brought into the office for my co-workers. I do not need a big box of chocolates.

Since I was sick last week, I skipped the gym but I was back in there this morning. It felt good but I know I need to step it up. I’m only doing cardio and I have to add regular strength training.

For the past two years in March I have given up alcohol. I don’t know why exactly, I just have. This year I plan to give up/take on something else. I’m playing with the idea of giving up meat, or television or taking on a more stringent exercise routine for the month of March. I’ll let you know when I decide.

I bought this book over the weekend:

Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage.

First of all, I had a 50% off coupon and I had $6 left on a gift card so I ended up paying only $8 for a new hardcover book. Yay me!

So far the book is awesome. The author takes a very wide and varied look at the institution of marriage. It should be required reading for anyone who is contemplating taking the plunge. Why? Because our culture, in my opinion, has a very distorted view of marriage. I’m not coming from a bitter place when I say this. Honestly. A marriage is not about a wedding and so many women don’t look beyond that day. I know I didn’t. We have turned the idea of marriage into some fairy tale dream where everyone magically feels complete and they live happily ever after. That is total bullshit. Historically, marriage wasn’t even about love and romance. It was about convenience and finances. When did marriage all of a sudden become the answer to every woman’s prayer?

Why am I reading this book? For a couple of reasons: (1) I really like this author. She also wrote Eat, Pray, Love which I just loved and I highly recommend it (and I hope the movie doesn't suck); and (2) I’m probably going to get married this year (don’t tell anyone), and I wanted to hear what another skeptic had to say. I’ve thought about this for years and I’ve gone from never wanting to be a wife again, to not believing that I could be in a successful marriage, to actually believing I could be in a successful marriage. Bottom line: I don’t want to be with anyone else, I love him, we fit. It will not come without obstacles and it was these obstacles that I so desperately wanted to avoid which is why I’ve avoided marriage. In other words, I was afraid. And by now, you know how I feel about fear.


Luv said...

ohhh.. congrats! so what is the angle of the book? does it goes into why people are afraid to get committed..

or does it just breaks down how marriage is a partnership and like any relationship or joint venture it takes a lot of work.

Luv said...

ohhh.. congrats! so what is the angle of the book? does it goes into why people are afraid to get committed..

or does it just breaks down how marriage is a partnership and like any relationship or joint venture it takes a lot of work.

chele said...

@ Luv - The book examines all the different things that are connected to marriage: history, expectations, etc. The author discusses her own reasons for not wanting to be married and the events that led up to her changing her mind.

LadyLee said...

That sounds like a good read. Interesting to see what another skeptic says. Let's you know you are not alone.

I agree. Society has a distorted view of marriage. I think we as women are more in love with the idea of marriage rather than marriage itself. They are 2 different things.

Glad your Valentines day was a good one!

TJ said...

I saw a review of this book a few weeks ago and thought it would be an interesting read. A lot of people don't put thought or work into love and marriage because they think it is supposed to be effortless, when nothing worthwhile ever is. Ever.

You are kicking fear's butt, huh? LOL.

ShellyShell said...

Congratulations on the marriage! :)
I saw her on Oprah a few weeks ago and really enjoyed what she had to say. This book is in my cue to read!

Icey said...

Picture me gushing!!

I will add this to my reading list. Right now I am waist deep in accounting books! Oh and let me be clear I am NOT in the marriage market! LOL

Bunny Brown said...

Don't tell anybody huh? Yay Chele!!! You are kicking fear right out the door!!! Putting another one down on the list to read!!

Shai said...

I am skeptical about both books. LOL. I KNOW I have issues with men, commitment and marriage. Whew! There I admitted it. LOL.

Anyway, I have read mixed reviews and wondered if I should read both books. I have purchased books on commitment phobia, stop avoiding love, etc. Even Steve Harvey's book and Hill Harper's book, they both turned me off.

So I may try it after reading your impression of the book.

Rose said...

Sounds good to me!