Monday, August 16, 2010


I had a meltdown at work last week. A full-blown meltdown complete with cussin’ and tears. Ugh!

I can’t remember the last time that happened.

My officemate witnessed the onset of the aforementioned meltdown and she knew something bad was about to happen. “Take some deep breaths and go walk around the building,” she advised. I took her advice. I stormed out of my office and headed for the stairs. I walked up four flights and was still mad. I kept breathing and I kept walking. I needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t return to my office because if I ran into the person that caused this kind of emotion in me, I would have been escorted from the building. For real.

I started praying. “Lord, who should I talk to? Who can I trust?” See, I had to pray for direction because I’m not all buddy-buddy with many people in the building. And truth be told, I didn’t need a buddy. I needed someone who would talk me down and give me sound, objective advice.

God came through and led me to the right person. I made a quick call to see if he was free and I went to his office, asked if I could close the door and took a seat across from him. I tried to come up with a hypothetical situation but my mind wouldn’t allow it. So I just unloaded on him. He put a box of tissues in front of me and let me vent. Afterward, he spoke to me in calm tones, asked pertinent questions and gave me some great professional advice. At the end of the conversation, the tears were gone and I was smiling and calm again. I waited about an hour or so, and requested a private meeting with the person who sent me into this tailspin. We got the situation ironed out and life is good again.

At the end of the day, I thought that all my prayer and meditation at the beginning of each day wasn’t working. After all, wasn’t I supposed to be able to better control my emotions? Well, if you know me, you’d know that I did positively, and effectively control my emotions. When I was younger and more hot-headed and more arrogant, I walked off of jobs (that I needed) for less. So yeah, I believe I handled myself pretty well. I’m still employed and there are no hard feelings between me and the other person.

All the prayer and meditation in the world is not going to change the fact that I am a human being with real feelings and emotions. If you try to screw me over or if I perceive that you are trying to screw me over, I’m going to react. How I react is up to me and will determine the outcome of the situation.

I’m cool now. Cool as a white box fan.

Oh yeah, I got my hair cut on Saturday. Like I said, nothing drastic. Just off my neck and easy to do. Cute, right?


BluJewel said...

*hugs* Meltdowns must have been in the air because I was on the verge of a couple myself. I couldn't pinpoint the exact cause and that made me feel even worse. I did as you did and went into immediate prayer for strength and comfort. I reached out to a friend whom I knew could keep me off the ledge and it worked; though I wished I had some Xanax!

The prayers/meditation are great foundation tools to keep us in the right head space, but as you said, we are still human and prone to emotional moments of crisis. Having the right people in the right places is the gift from God to help work through them.

Love the hair; I keep mine short these days too.

LadyLee said...

I feel you on this one. I've had some mini-meltdowns my ownself. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Always.

Love your hair!

Shai said...

Yeah, something must have been in the air. SMH.

My sup came to my desk out of nowhere, saying, "I need to sit with you today." I was thinking is she joking and she wasn't. Saying she is doing a time study on one of my duties. Ugh! The duty takes days to do and she wanted me to do it in one sitting. It is done monthly and I had just did most of it the week before. I was livid.

TJ said...

Cute do! I'm glad you found someone you could confide in. I found myself almost shaking a couple of people so maybe something IS in the air. God always brings me people to help though. I am so thankful for that.

Diva (in Demand) said...

I love the do and the picture! You look so relaxed and at peace.

I think the growth in peace is actually right there in asking for direction. Before we grow in peace we don't ask for guidance. We just go in guns blazing and don't worry about how it affects our spirit.

Single Ma said...

No one said progress was going to be easy, but I'm glad you recognize it and give yourself credit where it's due. {{hugs}}

Cute cut!

Luv said...

love your hair and glad you still got a job... it's hard out here for us..they be testing us..but i am glad that you proved you had been refined