Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Relax, It's Just Hair

I have seen everything. I just watched back-to-back episodes of Dr. Drew and the topic was African-American hair.


I have made it a point to never join in the conversation about Black hair because … it’s just hair. Is it really worth a conversation? Chris Rock seemed to think so. That made sense to me, but Dr. Drew? He looked like he really enjoyed being surrounded by so many beautiful sistahs.

Seriously, what is the big deal? Honestly, I do belong to a Black Hair Care forum (K.I.S.S.) but that is because I needed help with learning how to take care of my relaxed hair. I've been to many hair salons over the years but no one every taught me how to take care of my hair. The salons were good for styling but not hair care.

Here's my hair when I was a baby:

Today, my hair is relaxed and is shoulder length. I only relax my hair twice a year (June, December), I may use heat on my hair once a month and I wear protective styles 98% of the time. What does all this mean? Probably not much to most of you. I got my first relaxer when I was in fifth grade. It was picture day and my mom wanted me to have straight hair. That is how it started and here's the result of my first relaxer.

Here’s my thing: I’m relaxed and will always be relaxed. There is nothing wrong with natural hair and I see some of the natural-hair girls and I am like whoa! Natural hair is just beautiful. I just don’t think it would be cute on me. Actually, I just don’t have the patience to re-learn how to take care of my natural hair.

What I don’t appreciate is when some natural hair advocates characterize women with relaxers as being women full of self-hate. Making statements that the only reason we have relaxers is because we are trying to be “white”; that we’re selling out. That bugs me because no one loves me more than I love me. There is no hate over here. I have to do what is best for me. I prefer my hair to be relaxed. Period.

There was a short period of time when I wore braids, weave … I’ve done it all and I’ve found that relaxers work best for me.

You do you and I’ll do me. Why the debate? We’re all beautiful and all different. And what is wrong with that?


Diva (in Demand) said...

I think because so many people have taken it so personal...and at the same time, associated it with a need that they are trying to has become more than just hair to them. I've been natural for almost 10 years now and I still can't figure out why folks are always trying to "convince" other women what they should do with their hair.

ShellyShell said...

It's ridiculous the way some women criticize other women about THEIR hair. I just relaxed my hair at the end of october for the first time in over years. Most people didn't know my hair wasn't relaxed because of my texture of hair. Honestly I didn't want to learn how to do twist and twist outs etc.
I decided to relax my hair because too much heat was going on my head. People were like your hair is going to break off. Umm it never broke off before. I got my first relaxer at 18. I relax my hair twice a year and I have heavy color. My hair has NO damage. I take very good care of my hair.

I need people to stay in their own heads!

Newy said...

I am a creamy crack addict...have been since I was 14. I prefer my hair relaxed. I have done braids and weaves but I found that wasn't mean. For those who like having natural hair. Good for them and their Angela Davis style...I just get so angry when they try to say I am betraying my race because I wanna go straight.

Rose said...

I had a big beautiful afro from 5th-6th grade and wore a relaxer for 20 plus years. Now I am natural under my invisible braids. I would love to wear a relaxer but my dermatologist suggests I stay away from them because I have a highly sensitive scalp and very soft hair. I love the look of relaxers and try to mimic it by wearing my invisible braids. We all have to do us and keep it moving.