Friday, January 27, 2012

What is it they say about "time" and "wounds"?

I pulled into the driveway yesterday after work only to find my ex-husband pulling up at the same time with our daughter in tow. He has a habit of popping in without warning and I’ve learned to not let it bother me.

He gets out of his car and greets me with, “Hey Beautiful!”

We’ve been divorced for 10 years and I’m amazed that we can go from complete and utter hatred for each other to “Hey Beautiful!”

I’m not sure when the change occurred. It was definitely a gradual shift. I guess I decided to stop being bitter and he decided to stop being completely full of sh*t.

I wouldn’t say that we are friends exactly. I’ll say we understand each other more than we ever have and leave it at that. Our daughter is graduating high school this summer and after that, I really can’t think of a reason for us to ever communicate. Until her college graduation. Then her wedding.

Time is an amazing thing. It really does allow for healing and forgiveness. It gives us distance and allows us to view circumstances more objectively.
If you are in the midst of a challenging situation … just give it some time.


Mizrepresent said...

This was great to hear. I've been divorced now for 5 years and we finally graduated to a simple hello. It didn't begin this way, but after i made sure he paid child support, the bitterness and anger took over where good sense should have resided. Our son will be graduating this year as well. Hoping for him to be a bit more cordial, but not really expecting it. Thanks for sharing, your post gives me hope.

Diva (in Demand) said...

As much as I live you...I don't like you telling me to give it time. Time is for patient people. Us instant gratification types need microwave results...popcorn not a baked potato either.

TJ said...

Time can be a good thing.

bayoucreole said...

Well said. The same thing happened with me and my ex. When it came to the child support issue we were battling hard! We were AT IT! But, as time went on, we both decided to do what was best for the kids and fast forward to today and we are actually friends.
For hurricane evaucations we all caravan out and stay in the same hotel. My ex and his wife will lead in their car, my husband will follow up in his truck and I bring up the rear in my car. My ex and his wife take a room, my husband and I take a room and we put the kids in another room and split the cost of it. My kids thinks that it's wonderful! That's all that really matters...sane and healthy kids. Time really does heal.

Anonymous said...

Let me guess what your favorite line is -- one that makes you laugh every time: "I guess I decided to stop being bitter and he decided to stop being completely full of sh*t."

Just a feeling, plus it made me laugh out loud!

BluJewel said...

I was fortunate to have things end amicably with Lil Lady's father and we remained friends until his passing in '10. We did have a few setbacks over the years, but I was always glad that we resolved them in a timely manner; especially with his untimely passing because had we not been on good times, the pain of his death would have been the more harder on Lil lady and me.

Sometimes we have to pick and choose our battles in life.