Friday, May 25, 2012

What Part of the Game is That?

Something is bugging me.

There is a guy in my Business class who has been trying to holla ever since class started eight weeks ago. I’m not thinking about that boy for several reasons: he’s married (and nothing else really needs to be said at this point), he’s 15 years younger than me and I just don’t want to be bothered.

He asked me out after two weeks in class and I told him that would be inappropriate. I was trying to be nice about it and I figured he would leave it at that. The following week he skipped class (due to embarrassment, in my opinion) and the week after that he came to class and all he could talk about was his wife (saving face, in my opinion).

Good. Cool. Awesome. I figure everything is copasetic. But then slowly but surely he starts up again. Last week he says, “I don’t get it, what is wrong with me taking you out for some wings?”

Are you kidding me? Wings? That’s all you got?

To make a long story short, by the end of class my persistent, young would-be suitor deduced that the reason I wouldn’t go out with him was for one of two reasons: (1) I had been hurt in my past or (2) I’m gay.

What part of the game is that?

This kid is so arrogant that he can’t even comprehend that someone would turn him down because of him. It has to be about me being hurt and possibly gay.

I am so grateful that I know exactly who I am. Obviously, his tactics have worked on someone otherwise he wouldn’t be so comfortable with his delivery. It’s frustrating though, right? The mind games that men play on women. For the purpose of full disclosure, I will say that the whole “you’ve been hurt before” thing has worked on me in the past. That line puts a woman in a position where she has to prove that she’s beyond the hurt. That she’s not in some vulnerable state and afraid to take a chance. I have nothing to prove to anyone. I’ve never been called gay before but that tactic is used for the same purpose: to make a woman feel like she has to prove something.

I’m sorry but I have to say it: Men suck. No, not all of you but, damn. Why can’t you just accept the fact that every woman on the planet is NOT dying to lay down with you. Seriously! And it’s not because of a character flaw on her part.  It is most definitely YOU.

Ladies, take note -- hold fast to who you are and don't fall for the okie doke.  Just saying.


TJ said...

That's a mess. It is so sad that he didn't get the memo that tricks are for kids. Smh.

Anonymous said...

Im fortysumthin happily single...If only I had a dollar for everytime i'm asked "why are you single"

dee in san diego

Beautifully Complex said...

What is sad & very telling is that he NEVER even considered


The idea that he is married living single & feels free to date LOL *smh*

He me definitely is used to dealing with the weak minded with no self esteem.

Beryl said...

it like the song goes"...blame it on me, say its my fault...I really don't care" LOL

Anonymous said...

Two things:
(1) To paraphrase Maya Angelou, the first time someone shows you who they are, believe them...Many times giving others the benefit of the doubt only sets us up for the next round;
(2) General Question: Why do people do the sh*t that they do? General Answer: Because they think they can. Sometime, somewhere they have done it before and gotten reinforced for it.

For these two reasons, I often have inform/remind some folks:
*I ain't the one.
*Clearly, you have me mistaken for someone else.
*First time, shame on me. Second time, oh wait, there ain't gonna be a second time --


BluJewel said...

Before I got into my current relationship, I was often asked why someone like me was still single? Do people; mostly men in this instance, think that all women are single because they're "defective"? I was single by CHOICE and if what you experienced Chele and what I'd already seen/heard was/is any indication of what's out there, then being SINGLE was and will always be the BEST option. Sheesh!