12 Weeks Out

Just about 12 weeks away.  I know that sounds like a long time and I guess it probably is but I’m of the mindset that everything that I do from here on out will impact that moment on stage.   So I’m constantly checking myself.  I never miss a workout and I’m literally afraid to have a cheat meal.  At the same time I’m concerned that I won’t be able to keep up this mindset without burning myself out. 

The weekend is here again and it is funny to me how I don’t even look forward to the weekends like I used to.  Gone are the days of just relaxing after a long work week.  Because every weekend I’m still in the gym, still dieting, still doing cardio plus all my regular activities. 

I need to get my oil changed and I have two gift cards on my dresser from Christmas that I just have not had time to use.  No time for shopping?  What the heck is that about?

I believe in my heart that I need to make a few adjustments now so when it gets down to the wire, the stricter behavior won’t seem so bad.  I’m telling you, the hardest part about this whole thing is the diet.  Not the weight lifting, not the cardio, not having to wear next to nothing in five-inch heels, not the chronic soreness, not having to adopt the ponytail as my signature hairdo, not having to get up before 5:00 every morning … it’s the diet.  I’m used to eating whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want.  I have never restricted my diet.   Changing my relationship with food has been a constant struggle and if I wasn’t seeing indisputable results then I would have quit a long time ago.  The education that I am receiving about nutrition is invaluable and I know it will only benefit me in the long run.   But today, I miss my salty, sweet snacks.