How do you do it? How
do you get your mind to settle down and relax?
Even when my body is at rest it seems like it takes my mind so much more
time to come to a place of rest. It’s
exhausting. I’m always thinking about
what is coming next instead of dealing with what is happening now. It’s like I’m constantly in a state of
planning. Today is April 10th
but I currently have this weekend, May 3rd and June 29th
on the brain.
I think back to when I was in Chicago last Fall and how good
that felt. To wake up without an alarm
clock and to enjoy each day as it was happening. I loved that trip. I realize that everyday life is not a vacation
but how cool would it be if I could hold on to the “vacation mentality” in my
everyday life?
I’m doing everything I can in my everyday life to prepare
for this competition and I’m fearful that I will forget to enjoy it along the
way. I don’t know if this is something
that I will do again so I really want to enjoy it now. How do you learn to enjoy waking up at 5:00
am and eating oatmeal for the 200th day in a row? **shrugs**
I tell myself that this is what has to be done in order to reach this
goal that I have set for myself. I tell
myself that this level of intensity is only temporary and once July gets here I’ll
be able to breathe. That’s what I tell
myself.
2013 was supposed to be easy. Maybe I’m not built for “easy”. I like having things to do but sometimes the
voices in my head are screaming that maybe I’ve bitten off more than I can
chew. I know that’s not true. I’m good.
I know I’m strong enough to handle this.
I’m willing to do the work, heck I want to do the work. I want to push myself. I want to prove that I
have what it takes to walk across that stage at 48 years old.
I was in the gym this morning working hamstrings, calves and
glutes and in the middle of all that I start having hot flashes. I can’t tell you what that does to my
head. So what do I do? I push through. My life is a series of events where I have to
push through. I have a friend who was
diagnosed with cancer last summer. Right
now I’m thinking about her and wondering how she is able to push through each
day. She seems to be getting physically weaker
but she has this unimaginable faith that allows her to push through. Kind of puts things in perspective.
I’ve probably rambled enough for one post.
1 comment:
I've not mastered the art of putting my mind to rest hence my many, many sleepless/restless nights.
One thing I did notice during Lent was when I didn't have the unnecessary distractions (FB, Twittah, etc) I was FAR more productive. By completing lists of things to do I was able to rest a lot better and have time for things I wanted to do!
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