Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Silencing the Voices

Up until yesterday I was visualizing myself taking the stage in June and walking off the stage with a trophy.  Actually, I’ll be competing in three different divisions so I saw myself with more than one trophy.  Then something happened yesterday … don’t ask me what … but a voice in my head said, “You know, there’s a possibility that you won’t win.  There’s a possibility that you won’t even place.”
What?
Then I got depressed.  All this hard work, all this lifting, all this dieting, all this cardio and no trophy?  It was cold and rainy yesterday and when I got off work I went home and curled up on my bed.  I told myself that I wasn’t going to do my cardio.  What was the point, after all?  I could skip a day.  Then after about 30 minutes another voice said to me, “You know, the girls who are going to place are actually in the gym right now.”
So I got up and did my 40 minutes of cardio and I felt amazing afterward.  It’s a good thing that I’m not an emotional eater because I really could have done some damage.
Here’s the thing:  I didn’t start this journey thinking about trophies.  I started this journey because I wanted a better body.  And guess what?  I have one.  I’ve accomplished things in the past six months that I never thought I could.  The truth is, I cannot control what the judges are looking for on that night.  It’s completely out of my hands.  All I can do is work my hardest.  Give it 100% and leave it all on the stage.  Whatever happens happens.
I will not allow myself to be defined by a shiny award or how I appear on the outside.  Yes, I am competitive and this competition is all about physical beauty and I'd be lying if I said I didn't really want to win ... but it's about more than that.  It's about determination.  It's about perseverence.  It's about commitment.  It's about strength.  I have all that and the lack of an award won't change that.

3 comments:

JAMIL TEASLEY said...

Awesome! Your journey will definitely inspired others about determination and keeping the right mindset. I'm proud of you and you've already won in my book.

TJ said...

Go Chele! Show em your awesomeness!

LadyLee said...

This post is a good reminder that the mind is the battlefield. Yes indeed.