Tests and August Updates

Do you ever feel as though you are being tested?

Life is funny and God has the best sense of humor.  I’m doing a series on Peace on my PUSH Facebook page.  I’m live broadcasting every morning with a message on peace.  I feel like each message was tailor made for me.  Peace has always been something that I craved.  I enjoy living a peaceful life.  I’m learning through the broadcasts and the lessons that peace does not necessarily mean an absence of conflict – for the Christian it means accepting the conflict, knowing that God has it under control.  It is this knowledge that allows us to live in peace.

Okay.  I’m assuming that is why I feel as though I’m being tested on the daily.  In my career as a fitness professional I come in contact with more and more people on a regular basis (difficult for an introvert) and dealing with all these different personalities is challenging to say the least.  No two people are exactly the same.  God is teaching me to be patient and peaceful.  It is not easy because people will try you and my first instinct is to shut it down and not always in the politest of ways.  I’m learning not to follow that first instinct.  I’m learning and I’m growing and that’s a good thing.

I finished Freedom and now I am on to Love by Toni Morrison

August is designated as the month of prayer.  Each Monday I attend “soaking” prayer.  I’m fasting from alcohol (all month) and meat (for 3 weeks).  I’m running everyday hoping to get to 100 miles by the end of the month.  I also have started my manager’s position at the Y this month.  Portia turns a year old this month and my daughter will go back to school in a few weeks.

Busy month.  Soon August will be a memory and we will be on our road trip into the past.  I’m not fond of visiting the past but this is a trip that has to be made.  It reminds me of the day that my mother took me to meet my biological father … it was weird.  He cried.  I didn’t.  For this trip I’m really looking forward to spending time with my adult children and I hope my son isn’t disappointed. 

September will then be a memory and then it will be my birthday month.  52.  I’m feeling a bit melancholy at the moment.  I usually look forward to my birthday with the excitement of a child, not this year though.  I mean, I’m not dreading it or anything – just not ridiculously excited.  I’m always reflective and maybe I’m just thinking too much.  I never wanted to live an ordinary life and I’m fearful that that is exactly what I’m doing.  Most days I feel like I’m making a difference and what I do and who I am is important and other days … not so much.  Today is one of those days. 

Blah