Monday, October 30, 2017

Deuces


I recently read this article which details why women stayed after finding out their husbands cheated on them.  The reasons they listed ranged from being too broke to leave to respecting their marriage vows; either they stayed for the kids or he was a drunk and then got sober.

I personally know women who stayed with their husbands or boyfriends after they cheated.  Even after having conversations with them about it, I still have to say that I don’t understand.  I am not in a position to judge.  People have to do what they have to do.  I just couldn’t do it.

Infidelity is a deal breaker.  It’s not at the top of the list though … messing with my money is the #1 deal breaker. 

Cheating is not just about the physical act because if it were it would probably be easier (for me) to forgive.  Cheating may involve an emotional connection which goes much deeper than a physical one.  It’s about lying and betraying the one person that you promised to love, honor and cherish.  Cheating, in my opinion, doesn’t end relationships but is a symptom of another problem all together.

Cheating is not something that “just happens”.  Cheaters make a conscious choice to cheat without regard to how it is going to affect the spouse.  It’s selfish and it’s mean.

That’s why I couldn’t forgive a husband who cheated.  Fuck that.  I would not be able to look at this person every single day knowing that they could be so selfish and so mean.  Our home would be filled with resentment instead of peace.  Hate instead of love.  Suspicion instead of security.  I would make their life miserable which would in turn make my own life miserable.  Who needs that?

I don’t believe that there is only one person for everyone.   I would have to leave and start fresh with someone else or move on alone. I could not stay with someone who has demonstrated that they have no respect for me whatsoever.  I wouldn’t stay in a job where I was being disrespected.  If I treat myself better than my partner treats me … it’s time for me to go.

But that’s just me.

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