Introvert Problems (...which aren't really problems btw)

Thirty-five years ago, I stepped on the campus of Northeastern University for the very first time.  I was so excited about going to college.  I was really just excited about leaving home and it just so happens that I left to go to college. I was not a good student but I was great at partying, making friends and meeting boys.  Which is funny, because I suck at all three of those things today.

I enjoyed my time at NU which was a little less than two years.  After freshman year I decided to stay in Boston over the summer instead of going home like most other first year students.  Big mistake.  I should have brought my butt home but instead I wanted to be “grown”.  I made a lot of big mistakes my first time away from home.  However, one thing that I will never regret was getting involved with Black Greek organizations. 

Let me start by saying that I did not pledge a sorority.  I was a member of an auxiliary organization to a fraternity (i.e. “sweetheart”) and I was able to develop some amazing friendships with other sweethearts.   Most of my savage behavior was developed on that campus with those women.  Get a bunch of 18-year-old girls who have never been away from home together and anything is bound to happen – and most of it did.  I sit here now as I write this and think about some of the things we did and I just shake my head and thank God that I survived it.

I left Boston after only two years mainly because I again was trying to be grown.  Through a series of unfortunate events I found myself with no place to live and I had no other choice but to go back to Connecticut with no degree and nothing to show for my time at NU. 

I’ve thought about those friendships over the years and often wondered how my girls were doing.  So, like everybody else does I took to Facebook in search of my long-lost friends.  It amazes me how easy it can be to find someone in the 21^st century.  Of course, if you are someone who doesn’t want to be found you can do that too but if you’re not thinking about it … you will be found.  With just a few simple clicks I found more than one ex-boyfriend on the innanets.  Sidenote:  I just searched for myself under my maiden name and got zilch.

I was able to find one of my closest college friends on Facebook.  She was a sweetheart as well and a year ahead of me.  Our birthdays are just days apart and I usually think about her around this time of year.  She looks good.  She used to relax my hair for me bone straight.  She taught me how to wear pumps with chic jeans.  She was the coolest girl I had ever met.  She was from Brooklyn and never let an opportunity go by without reminding us of that fact (as most Brooklynites do).  She had one boyfriend the entire time I knew her and based on her name on FB she married him.  He wasn’t in any of the photos so I’m guessing they are no longer together. 

I did not send her a friend request.  Why?  Because I’m an introvert and if you are also an introvert than that requires no further explanation.  However, for the uninitiated here are the reasons:

·       I have nothing to say other than “what have you been up to”?

·       I don’t want to have to feign interest in her life or try to make my life sound more interesting

·       Reconnecting with old friends is not on my list of priorities

·       Reminiscing about days gone by is depressing

I know how cold and cynical all that sounds.  But come on.  I appreciate meaningful interactions with people.  I abhor small talk – it all just feels like a bunch of blah blah blah.

I prefer scrolling through her photos and smiling and just being glad that she appears to be doing well.