The Joy of Parenting

What is the primary role of a parent?

As a parent, I believe that our roles change depending on the child’s stage of development.  The primary role of a parent to an infant is to ensure that the child is fed, warm and dry.  As the child gets older the role becomes more complicated.  Primarily because we (parents) can’t control every single aspect of this person’s life because they are developing opinions, thoughts and feelings of their own. 

Having kids is easy.  Parenting is hard.

You have these kids and they start out loving you.  Then they hate you.  Then they ignore you.  Then they come back and start loving you again.  And as the parent, we are expected to love them no matter what.  The primary role of a parent is love their children unconditionally.

Does “unconditionally” need to be explained?  Probably not, but just in case it does … unconditional love does NOT mean that you put up with bullshit.  It does NOT mean that you forego discipline and raise a bunch of spoiled brats.  What it means is that you guide and discipline your children with love.  You discipline them because you care for them and it’s your job to teach them right from wrong whether they like it or not.  Kids will not understand the value of rules, discipline or boundaries until they become adults. 

Parenting is a thankless job.  At least it can feel that way at times.  I mean, parents give and give and give and give and children just take and take and take.  Every time you turn around it’s something else.  We are cooks, chauffeurs, nurses, counselors, ATMs, -- it never stops. Until it does.

I have successfully raised two children.  I look back on those days and I ask myself if I would do it all again.  Of course, I would.

I witnessed them walking and talking for the first time.  I attended all their school functions.  I taught them to drive.  I watched them walk across a stage and receive their high school diplomas and college degrees.  They’ve come to me with their problems.  They’ve come to me with their successes.  I’ve been lied to and I’ve been told “I hate you”. The police have been to my house over one of them.  I’ve lost quite a bit of sleep because of worry.  We’ve been to the emergency room.  We’ve taken road trips.  We share private jokes. 

These two are everything.

 

Today they are 23 and 27.  They are both independent and living on their own. Now when they call me it is not because they need something but because they want to talk – or just to tell me that they love me.

Parenting is hard, man.  And while you’re in the day-to-day it may feel like a thankless job and if you’re only in it for the praise than you will be extremely disappointed.  Looking at these two now, and being able to witness their success and knowing that I played a role in that success is all the thanks I will ever need.