Tuesday, February 20, 2018

It Ain't Over


Earlier this month I was sick.  I never get sick.  I realize I need to stop saying that because inevitably it happens.  It turned out to be a sinus infection.  Who knew a sinus infection could make you feel like you had been hit by an 18-wheeler?  I finished the anti-biotics and I’m sort of back to normal. 

While I was sick I had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking.  I spent most of the time thinking about how much I hate being sick and all the things that make me (figuratively) sick.  Things like hours of mindless television, social media, coffee … isn’t that weird?  Why am I mad at coffee?  I haven’t had a cup in almost three weeks.  I’m also reading again instead of scrolling through the ridiculous chatter of social media.  I finished Terry McMillan’s Who Asked You? and I just started the new one from Tayari Jones An American Marriage. 
 

 
Here’s my problem with social media:  everyone is talking and no one is listening and the stuff that people are talking about is complete foolishness.  I don’t care about who’s getting divorced, or why someone hid their pregnancy or why makeup companies don’t cater every single skin tone on the planet … I just do not care and you shouldn’t either.
I’m frustrated with myself because I don’t feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.  I’m restless.  I remember a time when I was active and always planning something and having fun and enjoying my life.  Life is a gift and I appreciated that gift.  Over the past two years I have been transitioning and now that the transition is complete it’s time to get back to living.  Between 2010 and 2016 I spent an enormous amount of time alone and I figured out a lot about myself which was the point.  I’m easily distracted so if I’m not intentional about what I want to do, then I could end up anywhere.  It’s like I need a road map to navigate my life.  There are things that I enjoy doing and when I was single I did those things and now for some reason I grabbed onto the idea that I can only do stuff that he will do with me.  Wrong answer.  Our time together is limited and when we’re not together I still need to be enjoying my life, not pining away over what he’s doing or counting the minutes until we’re together again.  I enjoy our time together but I also enjoy my time without him.


I’m going back to doing the things that I love.  When I think about the happiest moments of my life (outside my kids and their accomplishments) I notice that those moments usually include food and wine and being somewhere … anywhere.  I’m too young to have all my conversations begin with, “I remember when …” the past is the past and I still have quite a bit of future ahead of me. 

So, to that end, I am going to a themed wine dinner on Thursday night at The Cobalt Grille .  They have one every month and I’ve been to a couple and have always had a good time.  I’m also planning my birthday trip to California because I am finally going to taste wine in Napa … or Sonoma … or wherever.

A friend of mine died last week.  She was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer over 5 years ago and she fought that thing until the end.  She was 69 and I’m sure she lived a very fulfilling life until she didn’t.  There was a moment when I was sick that I thought that maybe it was something more serious.  Those thoughts can send you into a tailspin if you let them.  I am not going down that road … wasting life by thinking about death.  I love this life.  While I have good health, time and money I am going to experience as much as I possibly can.  Nothing crazy … I mean, I ain’t jumping outta nobody’s plane but I will enjoy the things that I love to do and I will try new things when the spirit moves me to do so.

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