Day 20

This morning while I was at the gym, I was listening to a podcast called Sober Bliss.  The guest on the episode was someone to whom I could relate.  At the time of the recording, she was a year into her sobriety.  She started when she was 56 (like me), she did not have a tragic “rock bottom” moment (like me), she was good at her job (like me) and a good mother (like me) and decided to stop drinking because she was concerned about her health (like me).  I loved listening to her story because it sounded so much like my own.  It sounds cliché but I was reminded that I was not alone in this thing.

My days are different.  There are ups and downs.  Today, however is an UP day. 

One thing that I had to remember is that it can be challenging to remove something from your life without replacing it with something else.  In the past, I would experience this with negative thinking.  I couldn’t just stop thinking negatively – I had to actively replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. 

It’s the same thing with addictions, in my opinion.  When you are trying to give up this thing that has held a huge spot in your life, if you don’t replace it with something else, then the likelihood of going back to that thing is greater.

My routine has been to come home from work, wash my face, change my clothes, pour a glass of wine and plop down in front of the television.  Then collapse into bed in a wine-induced haze.

I’m developing a new routine which is making me so very happy:  come home, wash my face, meditate, make a cup of tea, moisturize my hair while watching television, have dinner, go to bed with a book and happily fall asleep. 

I’m using a guided mediation app called Medito and I’m doing a 30-day meditation challenge.  I’ve tried meditation before but was not able to make it a habit.  They suggest adding meditation to an activity that you’re already doing – like washing my face at the end of the day.

Let’s talk about that for a minute … I love taking care of my skin.  At the end of the day, it is just so relaxing, and it just feels good.  I take my makeup off as soon as I get home from work, so I don’t risk falling asleep with it on.  Anyway, I do a double cleanse, apply eye cream, retinol and then moisturizer and my skin loves it.  Now, I simply add meditation to that routine.  So far, it’s working.  So, not only am I cleansing my skin but I’m cleansing my mind of the events of the day.  Corny?  Maybe.  But it makes me happy.  It’s taken me 20 days to get to this happy place.  Will it last?  I don’t know.  I’m taking it one day at a time.

Day 20.