Smorgasbord

I really need for my son to move his Playstation out of my living room. He plays in these on-line tournaments that last well into the evening which is a pain the neck. Also, if I happen to be in the living room first then I have to deal with the deep sighs and the questions about how much longer I plan to sit in MY living room and watch MY television. Something weird happened to his fancy-shmancy HD television that is in his bedroom and it just stopped working. Same thing happened to my sister’s HD television. My kid is buying himself another one. Good! Get out of my living room!

I had a 25% off coupon for the bookstore so I went and picked up two books recommended by LadyLee. I don’t recall the titles right now but the authors are Pearl Cleage and Nathan McCall. I’ve read their work before so I’m sure I’ll be pleased. I needed some reading material to take with me on vacation and I can’t read one more fitness magazine.

Speaking of fitness, since this blog is rated PG you will never see me in a bathing suit but trust and believe: I look good! I think my attitude has a lot to do with how I view myself these days because the weight loss was not dramatic at all. I’m still going to the gym 5 days a week and I’ve started to incorporate free weights into my strength training routine instead of just using the machines. I’ve decreased my time on the treadmill by 10 minutes and I’m paying attention to what I eat. What does “paying attention to what I eat mean”? It means that I do not diet but I make smarter choices when I’m at the grocery store or in restaurants. I eat whenever I’m hungry but I don’t go to the vending machine. Instead I go to my snack drawer:

What else? Oh yeah, I spent a whole gang of loot on hair care products last week. I’m sick of my hair but instead of chopping it all off, like I usually do, I decided to grow it out. I’m not messing with it as often. No heat except for deep conditioning and ponytails or braidouts will be the styles o’ the day. This makes my life easier especially since I spend so much time at the gym and I sweat out any kind of style that I thought I had.

Lastly, I met some old guy from Greece yesterday and he asked me where I was from. I told him CT. He says, “You have dark skin but you are not Black. What are you?”

WTH?

The (2005) Remix

I can't think of one thing to write about. So I took a peek into my archives to see what I had to say on December 19, 2005.

Here it is:

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. At least not publicly. You see, in addition to my anger issues I have accountability issues. I would hate for someone to come up to me in February and say, “I thought you were going to stop drinking in ’06.” It would just be a reminder of my shortcomings and my inability to follow through so I tend to keep my resolutions to myself.

This year, I figure the best way to make 2006 resolutions would be to take a quick look back at 2005 and resolve to correct past failures or at least find a better way to handle certain situations. Does that make sense? I hope so, because what follows are some of the significant events of 2005.

2005 – My Life in Review

Happy Birthday! - That’s right – I turned 41. I don’t freak out about my birthday anymore. What’s the point? I love the age that I am. You know what I like the most? Recently, a few people have said to me, “You look good for 40.” I love to correct them and say, “I’m 41!” Don’t cheat me out of that extra year. Besides, if I look good for 40 than I look better for 41. Update: this year I turned 44 and I still feel good about my age.

Unbreak My Heart – Just when I thought I was safe from being hurt … I suffered the kind of heartbreak that I will never recover from. I’m not being overly dramatic. I mean, I’m functioning but I don’t feel like I can trust LOVE. I don’t ever picture myself taking a chance and telling another man that I love him. Enough already – I’ve been here before and it seems to get harder. I’m done. Update: I got over that heartbreak but I never quite looked at love in the same way.

You’re Hired! – I started a new job and it turned out to be the best professional move of my career. I’m in a position where I am respected and my opinion is sought out and valued. The salary that was offered was more than what I requested and since my date of hire I have received at least $800 in bonuses and was voted Quarter 3 Employee of the Quarter. Not too shabby. Update: I've moved two more times since then and I've increased my salaray considerably. Again, not too shabby.

Introducing … The Fly Girls – I joined a hip-hop dance class. My daughter, my two nieces and my younger sister all belong to the same dance studio. Last year I attended their recital and wished that I was on stage with them. So this year, I signed up and our recital is in June. The class is once a week and it’s harder than I thought but at least I get out of the house and get my heart rate up for an hour. So far, so good. Update: I danced for another year after this and decided to hang up my dancing shoes.

Will You Put That Thing Out! – I feel terrible about this … but I fell off the wagon and started smoking again. Yuck. I know, I know. I’m a closet stress smoker and when the stress comes I chain smoke and by the time the stress dissipates I’m hooked again. Update: I haven't smoked again since.

Hell Hath No Fury … - I reacted violently to a stressful situation and was almost arrested. Not one of my proudest moments. I have never, ever hit another human being in anger. Needless to say this scared the hell out of me because even though I’ve been angry enough to do it in the past, I was always able to maintain control. Luckily, the recipient of my anger decided recently not to press charges, but for the first couple of weeks I was constantly in fear of being served a warrant at my new job. Update: No more violent outbursts.

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste – I started a college fund for my children. My son will be graduating from high school in a couple of years and I keep telling him that he’s going to college. Up until recently, I had no idea how I was going to swing that -- thank God for the cash-out refi! Update: The Prince is in college and (at least) the first year is 100% on me. I recently increased the amount going to the Princess' fund.

Sing, Sing a Song – I performed at the “Blues on the Boardwalk” on the Virginia Beach Oceanfront over the summer. This is not the first time that I sang in front of a crowd but this was certainly the largest crowd. Performing always gives me a rush. Sadly, I haven’t sung a note in months (long story). Update: I'm singing again more regularly... sometimes in bars and sometimes in church. :)

I Enjoy Being a Girl – Even though my doctor has informed me that there is an “abnormality” in my left breast which needs further study AND she discovered a cyst on one of my ovaries. What the hell? It’s my understanding that the cyst is no big deal … I have an appointment next week to go over all this stuff. Update: I'm fine. Boobs are good. Ovaries are good.

Vegas, Baby! – I booked my Vegas vacation. I’m going the first of the year. Five days in Vegas! I don’t know what to expect but I’m going to have a good time. I deserve this like you wouldn’t believe. Update: The trip to Vegas was a "spite" trip and therefore was not that enjoyable.

So, based on all this and some other things that I haven’t listed I have made the following resolutions for 2006:

1. Place more value on the love that I already have in my life: my family and good

friends and not get so bunched up because my romantic life is less than perfect. My romantic life is still less than perfect but it works for us.
2. Quit smoking – as of today I haven’t had a cigarette in 5 days!
3. Develop better techniques to deal with stress, i.e., prayer, count to ten instead

of running to a bottle of Pinot, violence or cigarettes Update: I don't often find myself stressed anymore and when I do, I just breathe deeply and relax with a glass of bordeaux!
4. Continue to regularly make deposits to the education fund Update: DONE!
5. Pay more attention to my health – I’m not getting any younger. Update: I'm paying more attention to my health and to my weight since I've gained about 10 pounds in the last 3 years.

I'm praying that God will give me the tools (wisdom) that I need to accomplish these goals.