No Words are Good Enough

 

I am going to have a granddaughter in December.  I have tried several times over seven days to accurately put into words how this makes me feel.  But I can’t.  The words have not been invented that can describe how utterly over the moon I am about this event.  About this little girl. 

When my son first shared with me that he was going to be a father, my initial reaction was shock and disbelief.  How could my baby be having a baby?  Surely, he’s too young to be a father.  Then it hit me that he is older than I was when I had him.  Then I listened to how happy he was at the thought of being a father and then I started to think about it even more. 

I am going to be a grandmother.  Wow. 

My thoughts drifted back to 28 years ago when I had him.  Those were the happiest days of my life up until that point.  I always knew that I wanted to be a mother (even if I wasn’t sure about being a wife) and when that little boy entered my life I knew exactly why God put me on earth.  Then when I had my daughter it became even more clear.  It’s funny, when I first discovered that I was pregnant with my daughter I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.  I thought it was unfair to make my son “share” me with another child.  I didn’t understand how I could possibly have enough love for two children.  When she arrived, I discovered that I had love to spare.  Now that our family is expanding again I cannot even contain the love that I already have for my granddaughter.  My heart is full.

No one is more surprised than me.  For years I would tell my kids that I would not be the grandma that babysits and plays games, so don’t be bringing your little rugrats around me.  But honestly, I cannot wait to take care of that little girl.