Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Filling The Hours

Good morning!

During my 3-week stint as a single woman I figured something else about myself. I was bored out of my mind. I remember someone once saying that if you're bored it's because you're boring.

Am I boring?

Must be.

Anyway, I had to figure out a way to fill the hours. I was so absorbed in my man's life that when I decided to extricate myself from it I was left with my couch and the remote control. And I don't even like television. I stopped reading, I stopped writing. I starting shopping too much and drinking heavily. Not out-in-the-street-falling-down-drinking, but stay-in-the-house-sipping-wine-drinking. Yeah, like one is better than the other.

I began to force myself to leave the house ... and not spend any money. Not an easy feat. I put a few things on my calendar: Jill Scott at the end of Feb, and there's an MLK, Jr. event on Monday. So I've made a start.

The discovery is that when you're a couple it's okay to have different interests, in fact it's preferable. Just as long as you come together when it counts (no pun intended).

Have a great day!

With love,


nikki said...

i think that's what my previous relationship suffered from - an inability to find common ground. we both had our interests and they never intersected at any point really. i also ended up abandoning my interests and adopting his so that we had something in common. ain't no way i ever do that again.

yay to you doing you own damn thing. i'll be doing that too!

Sharon said...

As you know, I ended my relationship last year too and my son Ryan, is a graduating senior this year and my only child. With his impending graduation, (don't you love my word choice....typically isn't impending connected to the word doom ;) coupled with the end of my relationship, I find myself actively trying to adjust to what my life is and will be by actively "getting myself a life of my very own". I began to feel much of what you describe as the way you felt during your 3 weeks on your own so I decided to make the transition easier by doing something about it sooner than later.

One of the things you have always spoken to is how much we as women become involved in the lives of those we love and support. This is so true, and now I find myself more acutely aware of this than I have ever been before.

Thankfully, I am enjoying "getting myself a life of my own", and knowing your children's ages, I would highly recommend you continue this trend of immersing yourself into your own interests and activities to ease this same transition as your son and daughter rush towards the futures you have so brilliantly prepared them for all along.

Believe it or not, at this point, this has become a positive exercise as I find myself enjoying things I had pushed aside or never got around to doing for myself in the past. So like everything else in life, this too is a "cloud with a silver lining all its own"!

Aziza said...

Welcome back. We bloggers missed you.

Bballmom said...

Hey Chele!

I'm so happy to see that you are back.

Reading this post reminds me that I need to develop my own interests. I lost them along the way a long time ago.

lyre said...

I have Jill tickets March in Memphis!

Aunt Jackie said...

i am about to pour myself a drink at home alone right now. it may very well be because I'm single because if I had a man, I'd have someone to drink with.

I'm glad that you found something good about your time apart from your beau!