Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What Do I Know?

Don't listen to me.

I've been divorced twice and therefore know nothing about making relationships work.

However, tomorrow I will be celebrating 5 years with my beloved. Here are some things I learned in this relationship that I obviously didn't learn during my two marriages:

  1. You can compromise without surrendering.
  2. Choose your battles, man. Everything doesn't have to be an argument.
  3. Sometimes he is right.
  4. Nothing makes a man happier than when he's allowed to be the man.
  5. Silence is golden.
  6. Mutual respect is key.
  7. Relationships are not a friggin' competition.
  8. It pays to be careful with each other's feelings. You can't just say any ole thing.
  9. Being able to have a real conversation with someone is a beautiful thing. Cause when the looks fade and the kids are gone and five times a week is reduced to five times a year ... seriously, what do you have left?
  10. Suprises never go out of style
  11. Sharing common interests is so important.
  12. Support him ... even if you don't necessarily agree with him.

Keep in mind, I only know this stuff because the opposite way wasn't working for me. :)


Blah Blah Blah said...

Got all but one down packed....or it that pat...?
8th one down...sometimes I say things...and it's not until I see his response that I feel ...sorta bad.
But usually, anything siad...wasn't meant to be said...which makes it even worse when I do say some slick ish to make him feel bad.

LadyLee said...

You told nothing but the truth there.

Folks ask me for advice all the time, and I use to feel funky about that, being divorced and all. But I think we have an exceptional take of what we did WRONG or what went wrong in general, how we would head that off, etc. From me, that's what people want to know.

Don't feel odd about giving advice. You never know, you could be saving folks some trouble. You never know.

It's a trip when folks run up on me, a few months or years after being married and say, "LadyLee, you were not lying that day you sat down and talked honestly to me about blah, blah, blah. I'm glad we had that convo, or I would've walked off by now."

So you never know, Oldgirl!

Believer 1964 said...

"Nothing makes a man happier than when he's allowed to be the man."


- Let him teach you sports, or whatever he knows about.

- Let him fix it, even if you can.

- Let him have the last word, even if you need to make your point, again.

Women need to relearn the basics every now and again, because sometimes we can't get out of our own way.

Congratulations on doin' it right!

SunFresh said...

Great summary. Just the other day my younger sister was asking me for advice. I advised her that sometimes a Lady knows to let a man lead (or at least let him think that he is leading). Her response was on what is going to leave her single until she learns to compromise "I like to be in control. I don't like to feel controlled and powerless."

Great relationships succeed when two people support each other and know when to lead or to fall back and follow. Two alpha-personalities will not make a goood relationship.