In 30 days I'll be 44 years old.
I tried to sit here to let that sink in and really determine what that means.
Not a whole lot. Maybe 45 will be my next "big" birthday. I don't think birthdays were ever a really big deal. I never had a birthday party as a child. My high school boyfriend threw me a party when I turned either 16 or 17 ... I can't really remember. I think I hung out with friends on my 21st birthday. I had a mini-meltdown on my 30th birthday. But after that I think with each year I just become more grateful. I'm really happy to be here. Each year I do take the day off on my birthday. This year, I'm taking the week off. The weekend before my birthday my sweetie is taking me on a trip and I can't wait. I love these kinds of getaways ... just the two of us, falling in love again. The inn is close to a winery that we've visited in the past and we plan to visit again. I'm not a huge fan of Virginia wines but last time we were able to find a few good ones so we may get lucky again.
Anyway back to the birthday. I feel really good and I can't even explain why. Wait a minute, yes I can ... NO DRAMA. I have finally realized that my response to certain situations in my life have a direct link to how those situations will be resolved. I have finally realized that getting stressed about things that are beyond my control is crazy. Stress is a killer and I have way too much living to do ... shoot, do you know how many types of wine I still have to sample???
My son is a college student and he has this whole new world in front of him and he's excited. My daughter just started high school and she has this whole new world in front of her and she's excited. Guess what? This is a new chapter for me too ... and I'm excited. My job picked up the tab for me to continue my education and at first I wasn't thrilled about the idea. I wasn't. I didn't think I needed to go back to school. I was totally wrong and I know now that anytime I get the opportunity to learn something new I'm going to jump at it. Finishing this course and getting certified is going to be a real boost when I start my next job search in the very near future.
There is so much going on and I used to get frustrated wondering how I was going to handle it all. But somehow everything gets handled.