Wednesday, March 25, 2009


This is a deviation for me but I was thinking about this last night while watching Dancing With the Stars ...

If you don't watch the show just bear with me for a moment because I actually have a point.

The contestants are always a mixture of folks who actually have some talent and folks who just plain suck. You can usually tell from the first episode who belongs to which group. This season Steve Wosniak (Founder of Apple Computers) and Steve-O (from Jackass fame) are two guys with no rhythm and are really just sort of funny to watch. But don't get it twisted ... they cannot dance. Wosniak received the lowest judges' score in DWTS history and Steve-O went blank in the middle of the dance routine.

So, I'm wondering why after three weeks and two eliminations they are both still in the competition.

The two couples that find themselves in the "bottom two" have to participate in a dance off in order to determine who stays and who goes. The judge's scores are combined with the viewer votes to determine the final score. The first week Wosniak had to dance off against Belinda Carlyle (from the Go-Go's). They were both weird and awkward but Belinda lost and had to go home. Last night, neither Wosniak or Steve-O were even in the bottom two ... Holly Madison (from The Girls Next Door) and Denise Richards (pictured) had to compete in the dance off. Again, they are not strong dancers but I don't believe they should have been in the bottom two while the Steves were still hanging around.

What happened?

Okay here's my point: I'm sure that the majority of the people that vote are women. It just seems to me that women will not support other women. Why is that? I see so many examples of this behavior in my everyday life and it just blows me away. Why won't we support each other? We don't do it at work, we compete with each other for men, we seem to always be one-upping each other and in the most catty ways. I hate it. That explains why recently I've been hearing more and more women say, "I don't have any girlfriends". I say it too. In "real life" I have my sister and that's pretty much it. I have cyber friends that know more about me than most people in real life and that makes me scratch my head. It's true that it's mostly surface information ... I mean you don't know what makes me cry or the last time I shed a tear. You don't know my greatest fear or what keeps me up at night. I don't think we ever really valued or even learned the importance of cultivating female alliances.

Why is it so difficult for women to forge true, meaningful relationships with other women?


LadyLee said...

Good post, Oldgirl.

I don't have this problem, but I definitely know what you're talking about because I know several women with this problem. (And I see it A LOT in the workplace).

I am glad that I have several meaningful relationships with women friends. But I think it takes time, and it takes forging a good "history" with people. We are an unforgiving bunch if some mess go down. And these days, it seems like we expect the "messiness".

At the same time, I've helped other women, and have been burnt. I cannot let that keep me from seeing the good in people, though. And I admit, with new folks, it is hard.

I think society doesn't support us being supportive of each other. Competition and b.s. is encouraged (look at our media, books, music, EVERYTHING)... they dictate most of our attitudes and ways of dealing with people.

I have a tendency to look for people who are not like that. I support you, you support me, period. We all need that.

Doggonit Chele, now I gotta call some of my homegirls and tell them that I appreciate them. I've been taking their support for granted!!!

Those dudes are going to be on the show for a long time because they have a fan base. You know that dayum Holly and Denise don't! (Especially Holly!)

If I ever vote, it is for the best dancer... period. Male or female. DWTS is nothing more than a popularity contest, really. And that is what makes it uneven. But you are right, the women are going to support the male celebrities before the female celebrities, hands down.

Bunny Brown said...

I used to vote all the time but I hardly ever watch anymore as it conflicts with 24 and the biggest loser. I get upset when the person that I like gets kicked off when no dancing azzez, like the Steves you mentioned, get to stick around for a long time. Reminds me of AI too. Sanj.aya anyone?

The Brown Blogger said...

Hell, that's a good question and although I think I know I believe that I really don't.

Especially coming out of the civil rights/70s poverty/crack era/AIDS-DL brothers era.

I would think after all of the oppression, supression and outright disrespect that women (especially sisters) are uniquely nomad and are tight fisted in their support of other women.

A woman will blindly back her lying, cheating man and get burned before backing another woman, regardless of relationship.


My humble opinion. I could be wrong.

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

I have no clue why we do that.

I got to sit in on a Meritorious Sergeant Promotion board. There's one Marine I wanted to see win the board. The Marine was HOT! Bearing, appearance, her name it, she had it. However, the "powers that be" decided that she didn't deserve it. Deep down I knew she wouldn't get it because one of the other people sitting on the board, was bragging weeks prior about how she had to "shut her down".

I couldn't do anything but glare at that woman. Back in the day, they would've accused me and her of getting our advancements by laying on our backs.

TJ said...

LadyLee is right about the fan base. As for the reason some women don't support other women, a lot of women are catty, immature and insecure. Other women don't feel the need to do the drama and there you go.