Why is surrender so difficult?
For some, like myself it's damned near impossible. I equate surrender to weakness and in my mind being perceived as weak is the worst possible thing in the world.
Logically, of course, I know there are worse things.
God is showing me that my inability to surrender is crippling me in my relationships. If I were to be really, really honest I would say that it is preventing me from having any real relationships. My inability to surrender coupled with my fierce need for independence won't allow me to open up fully to anyone. Including God. I certainly have my moments when I turn situations over to God ... like when I was looking for a job ... I knew God would provide so I sat back and watched him work. And did He work! However, there are other situations that I hold on to tightly and guess what? I don't even have to tell you ... those situations are still jacked up and confusing and causing me grief.
I read the book of Malachi today and in addition to my favorite verse about God opening the windows of heaven and pouring out blessings that I don't even have room enough to receive (3:10), I also was reminded that turning away from God by not trusting, believing and ... surrendering to Him will only lead to destruction. Surrender does not have to be scary. Especially when I surrender to the one that made me and wants only to bless me.
4 comments:
There's a verse that repeats itself through Proverbs which urges us to lean on God and not our own understanding. I too am trying to take my logic out of handling things, and learning to release and not try to control. It's a battle indeed... but with faith, it's doable. Hope you make progress with that.
I'm going to be thinking on this...
It's a constant struggle for me to surrender. I know in my mind I should but as you stated it makes me feel like I'm not independent etc. It is a constant battle I have with myself. I so understand what your talking about!
In my faith walk, I have learned that after full surrender of one thing, He is working on me giving up something else up ahead. Sometimes it seems like an uphill battle. Still, I count it all joy knowing that in the end process I am purified and in me His reflection more visible.
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