Monday, January 11, 2010

A New Day

For years I have been fretting over what to do when my nest is empty. Why did I start fretting so early? Because I didn’t want to be caught off-guard in an empty house and not know what to do. I’m a planner, so sue me. I know that at 19 and 15 they ain’t going nowhere no time soon, however, they each make their own little declarations of independence which remind me that things have definitely changed. When my daughter left me on Christmas I was devastated. But that’s how it is, I guess. As the years pass we will spend fewer Christmases together. But that episode opened my eyes to something (and this may sound harsh): I have put many things in my life on hold because I want them to be comfortable yet my comfort doesn’t even seem to be on their radar. I know, I know … as the mother that’s my job … but enough is enough. And they are old enough to understand that … and if they aren’t … they have some growing up to do.

9 comments:

TJ said...

Yes, teenagers are selfish. LOL. I remember when my mama went back to work. That was a sad time for us, but she taught us how to cook, so we just went and made things happen for ourselves. Now that I think about it, we took her for granted too. It was nice this Christmas, though, when she woke up to dinner cooking and grinning ear to ear because she didnt have to cook anything. LOL.

LadyLee said...

We were all like that as teens... wanted that independence. That's all we thought about!

You don't really have to worry about this empty nest... just go ahead and have another baby. That's the cure! Then you'll have another good 18-25 years before you have to think about this again...

chele said...

@ LadyLee: I wish you were in punching distance.

Diva (in Demand) said...

You're just having all kinds of new revelations up in this joint aren't you!

Believer said...

One thing we can count on in life is change.

I hope the transition is easy on all. :)

Luv said...

it's funny how we want that independence and when we get it, we want to give it back.

i don't even want to think about how fat i will become when mine leaves... i will just sleep and eat all the time

Rose said...

My daughter left for college and now is home working and trying to finish. But I don't see her leaving none to soon.. she'll probably be 25. Kids stay home much longer now.

Remnants of U said...

No...it doesn't sound harsh. I've felt it, gone through things to realize it, and I am not alone. I have friends that have had the same issues.

But then our kids/adult will do something else that makes you really proud, or help us in a way that shows they have matured.

Icey said...

Hey stranger!! I can actually rad you while at work...we gonna see how long this lasts!

Please that ish does not end after the teen years. The issue I have with my adult (21) daughter is her sense of entitlement. Pisses me clean off every time it rears its ugle head. She goes back to school this fall (away to school). I can't wait. lol