Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Second Half

When I was in my teens I wondered if I would ever get a boyfriend. All my friends seemed to be more experienced in that area and I was kind of on the outskirts. Then when I was a sophomore in high school we moved to a more culturally balanced (read: more Black folks) area and I never wondered about having a boyfriend again.

When I was in my twenties I wondered if I would get married. To think about it now it seems ridiculous to be concerned with such a thing in your twenties. I wasn’t ready to get married. But I did. Twice. Once when I was twenty-six and then again when I was twenty-eight.

When I was in my thirties I wondered if I would ever get out of debt. I worried constantly about money and I wondered if I would ever build a life for myself and my children that we could be proud of. My financial situation completely turned around and I bought my first home when I turned 38.

I’m in my forties now and I wonder about the second half of my life. In the first half I was primarily concerned with men and money. Relationships and finances. While these areas aren’t necessarily on auto-pilot, my mind is not constantly consumed with getting a man or paying the mortgage.

I did not make many plans during the first half of my life. I lived day-to-day and I allowed the chips to fall wherever they would. I lived in reactive mode. Stuff happened and I reacted to it. I’ve always been a survivor. It’s one of my better skills.

I’m planning for the second half. I want to live in proactive mode. Realistically, I could live for another 45 years and if I plan carefully, it could be so sweet. The plan is to not just survive but to live. I don’t want work in this office building until the day I keel over. It’s a good job and I’m going to use it to finance my next career: business ownership.

I’ve always been a “quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry” kind of gal. I have to suppress those tendencies if I want this to work. I have to invoke the patience that I so often preach about. If it were up to me I’d be turning the key on my business tomorrow. But I want to take my time and do this right. I want to build something that I can be proud of. I want to live the second half of my life in peace. Out of the rat race and away from the office politics.

I’m so looking forward to the second half.

**Dee In SanDiego – I have yet to receive your info so I can send the book.**


This One Woman said...

I am just loving this.

TJ said...

Hmmm. That is something to think about.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!! I cant believe I won!!!! I was soooo moved by todays post.....

Thanks...my info is coming!!!! YESSSS

Dee in San Diego

Luv said...

well i am still in the first half of my life and have always planned and planned for when those plans went wrong... now, i want to just live and let the chips fall where they may..

i guess the thing is to have a balance