Thursday, March 4, 2010

16 and

“You should watch 16 and with me,” said my 15-year old daughter as we finished up dinner last night. Since she very rarely wants to do anything with me, I agreed.

Have you seen this show? My first instinct was to hate it. Because it shows just how stupid our girls still are. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Having unprotected sex with boys who aren’t even worthy to speak to them let alone see them naked. It was infuriating. This particular little girl, Valerie, was Black and was adopted by white parents into a family of eleven kids. Valerie felt invisible and became visible in the arms of Matt. Matt is an idiot. A straight –up wanna-be with less talent (is that even possible?). Matt doesn’t want anything to do with Valerie anymore and told her that the only time she should be calling him is if it had to do with the baby. Meanwhile, he’s telling his homeboy that he has to get a paternity test. His homeboy said, “I know right, definitely get that fraternity test.”


My face was frowned up during the entire show and I tried not to make too many comments. There was one moment when Valerie and her mother were having a disagreement and Valerie stormed out of the room and said, “You aren’t listening!” I leaned over to my daughter and said, “That would never happen in this house, dear. Because I would snatch you by the back of your head and make you sit down and finish the conversation.”

“I know,” she said.

After showing the delivery and how Matt "really came through" by showing up (gag me), they went on to depict how difficult life is for Valerie. She can’t go out with her friends, she has to be homeschooled because she can’t afford daycare. The “love of her life” doesn’t want anything to do with her. In a nutshell, having a baby at 15 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Did my daughter get that message? Or is she sitting there thinking: “It would be different for me because I’m not that stupid.” She tells me she gets it, but I know that her modus operandi is to tell me exactly what (she thinks) I want to hear.

I did the same thing as a teenager. Actually, I never told my mother anything at all. I was no angel by any stretch of the imagination but I knew that bringing babies into my mother's house was not a smart move. I don't know ... it just seems to me that today's teenagers have this ridiculous sense of entitlement and no sense of consequences. I mean, how you gonna lay down with somebody, with no birth control and you don't have a job? And I don't want to hear about the heat of the moment and hormones and blah blah blah.

Easy for me to say at 45, I guess. But even at 15 I was afraid of the consequences associated with being a teenaged mother.


This One Woman said...

There's that E word again. ENTITLEMENT. My only child is four and I hope I am learning from the mistakes of others. He knows at four that I will not hesitate to get on him when he gets out of line. He is young and still testing boundaries but hopefully I am laying a strong foundation for his future.

Anna Renee said...

Hi there! I am so glad that I don't have a teenager anymore. Mine is 28 and a boy. They say boys are easier.
When I was a teen, I was terrified of getting pregnant and for that reason I stayed away from boys as much as possible. Whenever it got as close as a boy pulling me too close in a sexy way, I ran. I hadnt even formed an idea of what life would be like with a baby, but was scared of the unknown!!
But that was 1976, 77, 78! These girls ARE different these days! The boys too. Your daughter probably wants you to know that she could never be as foolish as those girls on the show. Bless her heart. Bless yours too dealing with a young teenaged girl in this age! But she's a smart one.

lyre said...

I've watched the show and felt very sad for the girls. And sometimes for the boys. I wasnt 15 but at 18 it was very hard. Imanaged to finish college at 21 and secure a great career at the same age. but I know mine is not the norm. I have mixed feelings for the show. on one hand it could be a mess by glorifying having a baby, but I think it does a great job of showing reality. I'm sure princess will hear your voice when the time comes for her to make that decision.

TJ said...

When I was a teen, I was not trying to hear a baby so I wasnt trying to hear sex. You really find out how a guy feels about you when you let him know he isn't getting any and you show him you mean it.

Anonymous said...

my 17 year old son watches this show....everytime CATCH him watching I tell him "Son glamorizes teen pregnancy....that ish is HARD it changes your WHOLE life...a few minutes of what SEEMS like a lifetime of responsibility"

He can quote me he watches in his room w/the door closed instead of the living room...


not sure what MTV expects the message for our youth to be but I think it's all negative....

Dee in San Diego

ShellyShell said...

I've watched this show several times but I've only seen one episode of this season. I saw most of last season(they had no black people on). The one thing I can't get over is how disrespectful all these kids are to their parents. I'm over 30 and I do not talk to my parents like that even when my mom pisses me off to the highest level of pisstivity! Last season the girl and her boyfriend decided that neither one of their home lives were stable enough to raise a child and ended up giving their baby up for adoption. I really applaud them on this but their parents went IN on them! It was a mess! But they recognized what they had to do for them and they were fine with their decision.
I'm the youngest of four and have a large gap 8,12 and 16 years and my mom instilled in me at a very young age that I WAS HER LAST CHILD AND SHE WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF ANY BABIES! When I went away to college she pulled me aside and said the same thing! She was like I will not take care of a child. If you chose to get pregnant and keep your baby. Yes, you can move back home but I'm not your babysitter and remember school is free for you now because me and your dad are flippin the bill. Get pregnant and you will find your own way to pay for school!
With all that said. There was NO way in hell I was going to mess up my meal ticket! LOL!

Sorry for blogging! LOL

Blah Blah Blah said...

I wasn't even thinking about sex at 15. Maybe I was a late bloomer (hard to imagine) but the closest I came to sex was leting someone put his tongue in my mouth and even was sort wack because we kept bumping teeth and it hurt.
I was walking behind this girl today pushing a stroller...she was about 14 I'm sure...and it was like 1 in the afternoon, I was thinking....why isn't she in school? I hate this society for so many reasons...but flip side, there are so many things that could be so right with this society. Blah!

Luv said...

i'm late i know but i have had a lot on my plate. i have seen the show and i have mixed feelings. but most of the youngins i watch it with seem to get the picture...however some of them get it because they also had babies at young age or got rid of it at a young age.

i really think that we need to get in these kids's so cute now to have a baby and not be able to read or be able to pee straight.

like the rest of you, i wasn't thinking about boys, sex or babies until i was in college..