Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday's Reflections

Labor Day weekend is here. The end of summer. Kids are back in school. The temperature is dropping. The end of another year is quickly approaching. A lot has happened this year. Here are some of the highlights:

I ended a six and a half year relationship
I left the church that I love
I found another church that I know I can learn to love
I’ve done some traveling for both business and pleasure
I’ve taken on more responsibility at work
My car was stolen
I was blessed with a new car
I found out that I’m not cut out to be a vegetarian
I discovered hot yoga and meditation
I cut my hair
I joined a book club

I’ve experienced major changes and while I was going through those changes I have to admit, I wasn’t always sure how I was going to survive. Change can be such a scary thing. Which is why so many people stay put in unsatisfying situations. Some would say, it’s easier to stay in the hell that you know instead of venturing into an unknown hell. But then again, you could be stepping right into heaven.

I’ve shed quite a few tears in 2010. Buckets of tears. Still trying to figure that one out. I mean, the littlest things make me cry. I’m tearing up right now! I think that for so many years I refused to cry that I had a surplus of tears that now just flow freely.

There were times in 2010 when I felt like I was walking around with an empty hole in the middle of my chest where my heart is supposed to be. And there were a few times when my heart was so full I thought it would explode.

Ups and downs, man.

I have learned so much about myself this year. I’m smarter than I thought I was. I’m much stronger too. I’ve never described myself as a kind, sweet person but I’m finding out that there are a select few that see me that way and that makes me smile. My circle remains small but I’d lay down my very life for those few that are within it. And that’s saying something because I value my life.

My life is valuable. God is continuing to show me how valuable I am. He is showing me that my life is complete right now, exactly where I am. Sure, there are things that I still want to accomplish but even if I don’t … I am complete in Christ.

I’m looking forward to the rest of 2010. My birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas. These events always make the end of the year go by in a blur and I just try to hold on until January 1. This year I’m going to concentrate and not let the rest of the year perfunctorily pass me by. I defined 2010 as the year of “no fear” and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of living up to that. What will I do in 2011? I haven’t decided yet. I don’t really want to think about it yet. Still focusing on 2010.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the long weekend.


TJ said...

So many walls in my life have come down just because I learned to be content where I am. Not complacent, but content. You have done so much! It's been an inspiration to watch. Enjoy your weekend, too!

Diva (in Demand) said...

You know what else have truly served as inspiration to others during your journey through 2010. Through you I believe that I have truly found more balance in my life. Just today....I held my tonuge instead of letting loose unnecessary foolishness. I've limited my complaining and increased my prayer and positivity. I've had cell phone problems for 2 days and I only called one person a jackass. :)

Remnants of U said...

Thanks for blogging & sharing your self discoveries.

I hope your weekend is wonderful!

Rose said...

Chele you really make people think. I love reading your posts. As Diva said you are definitely an inspiration.

Ca88andra said...

Chanced upon your blog and am glad I did! You have certainly had some "highlights"! Hope the rest of the year is wonderful.