No Regrets

I have spent many years beating myself up. Putting myself down. Telling myself I'm not good enough. The truth of my past seems to reinforce those beliefs. I understand that you cannot get to my age without having a past. That how it works. But I now realize that the missteps of my past don't make me a bad person. The events of my past have molded me and taught me lessons that I would not have otherwise learned. Therefore, I am eternally grateful for my past. I have no regrets. I don't regret the marriages, the annullment and the divorce. I don't regret the broken relationships. I don't regret the poor financial decisions. I regret nothing. I have learned so much and I have accomplished plenty in 47 years. And I still have so much to do. My best years are ahead of me. I am blessed and I will never again feel less than. The Bible says that I am above and not beneath, that I am the head and not the tail. Who am I to argue?

A Note to my 18-Year Old Self

If I could go back 30 years and have a chat with this young lady, here are some of the things I would tell her:

You are going to make mistakes. You are going to make plenty of mistakes. Don’t allow that to stop you from picking yourself up and continuing to move forward.

Everything that looks good on the outside will not always be beneficial to you. Dig deeper.

Don’t ever be afraid to say, “I deserve better”.

Stop putting so much emphasis on your looks. You’ve got a pretty face, so what? Looks fade and if you don’t have the intelligence to go along with it, you will be lost.

Be smarter with your money, girl.

A man is not a plan.

It’s not vain to value yourself.

You have so many good times ahead of you. Cherish them. Be grateful. Don’t mistake delays for denials. It will work out but you have got to see beyond today. Know that you’re best days are ahead of you.

**What would you say to your 18-year old self?**

Forty Seven

Last night I was relaxing in the bath, allowing the smell of lavender to envelope me and then it dawned on me: half of my life is over. Don't worry, this is not a sad, morbid post about my mortality blah blah blah. It's like when I treat myself to the occasional Snicker bar. I'm so excited about the chocolate and peanuts and I rush through the first half. Then I look down and I realize that half that candy bar is gone. The first half was so good but I know I really have to savor the second half because once it's gone ... it's gone.

That's how I'm feeling this morning. I really have to savor the second half.

I've done quite in bit during the first half:

I got married. In fact, I was so ambitious that I did it twice!
I had my kids
I bought a home
I made some money
I did some traveling
I made a lot of mistakes

It seems to me that my first half was populated with striving. I was always of the mind that I had to get something. I had to achieve. There's nothing wrong with that. Without goals where are we?

But the second half is going to be different. I don't feel the urgency to get get get. I feel the need to exhale. I feel the need to just breathe. Have you ever felt that way? The first 47 years have been a whirlwind. I've enjoyed most of it but not as much as I could have. I've allowed stress to overtake me more times than I should have. I'm done with that.

There are still things that I want to achieve in the second half. I want to visit Italy. I want to get married again and I want a house on the beach.

Small things. :)

But more importantly I want my spirit to be calm. I want to always be thankful in every circumstance and every situation. I want to view every single day as a gift from God.

Because it is.


But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

Goodbye Summer!

Everyone’s talking about the end of summer and I suppose that is appropriate since it is Labor Day Weekend. I’m going to miss Summer 2011. It wasn’t spectacular but it was a good summer. I trained for and ran my first 5k and followed that up with two more races. That is certainly notable. As the weather gets cooler I’ll probably adjust my running schedule to the early evenings or to the treadmill which is sort of a bummer. Hey, what’re you gonna do?

As another autumn approaches I feel myself going into reflective mode. Summer is always so much fun and carefree but for me, autumn is less so. It’s my birthday season and as many people do, I look back over the last year and either marvel at my accomplishments or I get depressed because I haven’t done enough. I think I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m really at a place of acceptance which is a nice place to be. I’ve let go of the stress that comes with really high expectations. It’s too much. I still have the expectations, just not the stress.

This weekend will be a busy one. Tonight the Princess and I will be doing her school shopping. And for the first time since she’s been in school, I won’t have to come out of pocket. How cool is that? It’s nice to have kids with jobs. Yes! I’ve agreed to help with the school supplies but the clothes are all on her.

Tomorrow after my run, I’m going to the salon for a facial. Fun and relaxing. After that I’ll probably clean house and prepare for church.

On Sunday I’m going to head down to the Oceanfront for the Rock ‘n Roll half marathon. Of course I’m not racing but I’d like to cheer on Black Girls Run! and hang out with some of the girls for a while. I’m looking forward to that. I can’t imagine running 13 miles when I’m still struggling with completing three. These girls are serious!

Then I think Monday will just be a lay around and do nothing day.

Goodbye summer!

What have you got planned?

Feeling His Strength

All this week I’ve been meditating on 2 Corinthians 12:9 which says:

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (King James version)

The translation in The Message is as follows:

My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

In the verse prior to this one, Paul says that he went to God three times asking him to remove his “thorn” and God wouldn’t do it. Instead, He told him that His grace was sufficient and that His strength is made perfect in Paul’s weakness.

Have you ever been in pain or been going through something and just cried out to God and begged him to remove it? I’ve been there and all I wanted was for God to make me feel better. I just wanted the pain to stop. I could not figure out why after asking God for such a simple request I was still in pain. Doesn’t the Bible say, “Ask and it shall be given unto you”? Well, I was asking. Pleading, in fact. And nothing.

Through this verse I understood that it would have been easy for God to just remove my “thorn” but where would the lesson be? What would I have learned? Probably nothing. I know that God has a greater purpose and that there is a reason why I have to endure certain things. I believe that God wants me to recognize that no matter what, His grace is all I need. When I am at my weakest point, God will show me exactly how strong I am (through Him). He is teaching me to rely solely on Him. That I can do nothing without Him but with Him I can do all things.

Having this knowledge in and of itself is enough to carry me through any hard time.

Tuesday's TMI w/Some Other Stuff Thrown In

The weather has me wanting to hibernate. When it gets this cold, I just don’t want to leave the house for anything. It should warm up by this weekend. My office is having their annual holiday party on Friday. I’m actually planning to attend which is completely out of character for me. I think the last office party I went to, I ended up carrying my drunk ex-boyfriend out of the place and sitting up all night with him while he got sick in my bathroom. Good times.

I’m so looking forward to January 2. The holidays will be over. The new year will have begun and I will have successfully made it through 2010. A year which was rife with equal parts joy and sadness. I started out the year on a high note, then things took a nose dive into the abyss, and slowly but surely I was able to climb back to the top.



Feels pretty good. Good bye 2010. Thanks for the memories.

I’m working on my 2011 goals and I’m finding that my goals are not really of a tangible nature. I don’t want to get stuff. I want to be and feel and do. Know what I mean? I don’t really know what I mean but I’ll have it figured out before the end of the year.

I got my hair cut again. You like?


I ‘m finding that hair on my neck is irritating me beyond belief. Right now, I’m just not very fond of hair. That could all change though. I told my stylist that next month I may come in and ask to get all weaved up.

TMI: Who knew that birth control pills had so many uses besides … well, birth control? I began taking them at a pretty young age to lighten my periods and stop the cramps. Then I was taking them for birth control. Then I was taking them for cycle control. Now I’m taking them to reduce the symptoms that accompany (peri) menopause. Oh, the wonders of this tiny little pill.

I still haven’t put up my tree. Probably this weekend. Neither the Prince nor the Princess expressed any desires or wishes when it comes to Christmas gifts. You know what that means, right? Gift cards. Easy-peasy. Me? I want for nothing. Except for someone to come over and replace my downstairs tile. Geez, how many times do I have to put that out there before someone will step up and volunteer?

What about you? Are you ready for the year to be over? Do you have goals for the new year? Is it freezing where you are? Did you know that BCPs were the wonder drug? What do you really think of my hair cut? What do you want for Christmas?

Friday's Reflections

What a week.

It’s going to be a beautiful weekend and I may get down to the beach one last time before it’s all said and done. I’m looking forward to the weekend. I have a lot of relaxing, reading, exercising, and eating planned. There is a Turkish restaurant I want to check out for brunch on Sunday. Yum.

On Monday while driving to and from Richmond with three teenaged girls in the car I was troubled by a phone conversation that I overheard. I wasn’t eavesdropping, it’s a small car for heaven’s sake. After the step show was over and the girls were coming down from the high of winning, one of them (not my daughter) made a phone call to a boy that I’m assuming is her boyfriend. She said, “Where you been? I called you three times today and kept getting voicemail.”

I said, “You aren’t supposed to be calling a boy three times in one day.”

She ignored me. As expected because she was too busy trying to find out from him where he had been.

This is troubling to me. Why do girls/women think it’s acceptable behavior to call boys/men multiple times if they don’t respond to your first phone call? Why the desperation? Since when do women have to chase men? Trust me, if a woman has to do the chasing, the man doesn’t want her. These girls should know that. That exchange has been on my mind all week and don’t think I didn’t give my own daughter an earful regarding this topic. Every fast girl that has pursued my son has been left by the wayside. I have four brothers and I watched them all do the same thing.

I’ve told this story before but for you new folks: when I was growing up, my mother told me not to call boys. “If they want to talk to you they will call you,” she said. Me, being the rebellious teenager decided that she didn’t know what she was talking about and decided to call a boy. A boy who was my boyfriend at the time. I called, his mama answered the phone and politely told me not to call her son. If he wanted to talk to me, he would call me.

Boom!

To this day, I don’t initiate phone calls.

On Tuesday, I went to my first Life Group meeting. What are Life Groups? The church that I go to is pretty big so we separate into smaller Life Groups in order to get to know each other and fellowship in a smaller setting. I haven’t officially joined the church yet so I wasn’t sure if Life Groups were open to me. Seems that they are. I went through the directory to try and find a group that best suited my needs: close to home, meets during the week, co-ed, no children.

I found one that met all those criteria and off I went on Tuesday evening. It was a small group and the meeting was just what I needed. We prayed together, worshipped together and discussed the sermon. The pastor is doing a series on change. Examining different things that we want to change about ourselves and recognizing that we are helpless to change ourselves without the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Timely topic for me to say the least. I found it interesting that one of the people in the group had a hard time coming up with one thing they wanted to change about themselves and I had a hard time narrowing down my list to one thing. The one thing that I shared was that I wanted to be able to stop holding grudges. I want to be able to face a situation head-on, let it go, forget about it and move on. I’m a work in progress.

Oh well, the week is almost over and I am ready for the weekend. I’m ready for Sunday’s weigh-in. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your weekend.

Friday's Reflections

It’s been a long week and I am so very glad it’s Friday. The week was filled with some really good revelatory moments. It all boils down to one thing: I’m blessed.

I’ll just leave it at that.

I have a few things planned for the weekend. I’m taking the Princess to DMV in the morning so she can test for her learner’s permit. I haven’t seen her study that manual once so we’ll see how that goes.

I have to get a touch-up. My roots are nappy and while I applaud all my beautiful natural sistahs, nappy roots do not look good on me.

I’m going to make my slutty spaghetti on Saturday night.

I can’t wait to have it with a glass of Menage a Trois.

For those of you who don’t know, I suggest you ask somebody.

I have another weigh-in this weekend for the WLC. I had birthday cake and other no-no’s this week. But I’ve still been working out consistently so I’m expecting for my weight to stay the same. I’m still hoping for a loss though.

When I was younger I could never eat if I was stressed out. My stomach would be in knots and the mere thought of food would just make me sick. Yesterday, when I was fighting deadlines at the office I found solace in a 3 ounce bag of Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies. Ugh!

I’m going to read Oprah’s newest book club pick. Why? Not because she recommended it but because of the title:




You know that’s my thing, right? It better be good.

Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend.

Friday's Reflections

Labor Day weekend is here. The end of summer. Kids are back in school. The temperature is dropping. The end of another year is quickly approaching. A lot has happened this year. Here are some of the highlights:

I ended a six and a half year relationship
I left the church that I love
I found another church that I know I can learn to love
I’ve done some traveling for both business and pleasure
I’ve taken on more responsibility at work
My car was stolen
I was blessed with a new car
I found out that I’m not cut out to be a vegetarian
I discovered hot yoga and meditation
I cut my hair
I joined a book club

I’ve experienced major changes and while I was going through those changes I have to admit, I wasn’t always sure how I was going to survive. Change can be such a scary thing. Which is why so many people stay put in unsatisfying situations. Some would say, it’s easier to stay in the hell that you know instead of venturing into an unknown hell. But then again, you could be stepping right into heaven.

I’ve shed quite a few tears in 2010. Buckets of tears. Still trying to figure that one out. I mean, the littlest things make me cry. I’m tearing up right now! I think that for so many years I refused to cry that I had a surplus of tears that now just flow freely.

There were times in 2010 when I felt like I was walking around with an empty hole in the middle of my chest where my heart is supposed to be. And there were a few times when my heart was so full I thought it would explode.

Ups and downs, man.

I have learned so much about myself this year. I’m smarter than I thought I was. I’m much stronger too. I’ve never described myself as a kind, sweet person but I’m finding out that there are a select few that see me that way and that makes me smile. My circle remains small but I’d lay down my very life for those few that are within it. And that’s saying something because I value my life.

My life is valuable. God is continuing to show me how valuable I am. He is showing me that my life is complete right now, exactly where I am. Sure, there are things that I still want to accomplish but even if I don’t … I am complete in Christ.

I’m looking forward to the rest of 2010. My birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas. These events always make the end of the year go by in a blur and I just try to hold on until January 1. This year I’m going to concentrate and not let the rest of the year perfunctorily pass me by. I defined 2010 as the year of “no fear” and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of living up to that. What will I do in 2011? I haven’t decided yet. I don’t really want to think about it yet. Still focusing on 2010.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the long weekend.

6 Down and 6 To Go

On December 8, 2009 in this post I declared that 2010 would be the year to live and love fearlessly. I extended an invitation for you to join me and some of you agreed to jump on board and kick fear in the butt.

How are you doing? Has it been difficult? Has it been freeing? Have you noticed a change in how you walk? How you speak to people? What’s going on after six months?

Here are some of the things that I’ve discovered about myself in the last six months:

1. I had to be willing to let go of the life that I had planned in order to take advantage of the life that was waiting for me. Fear had me bound to a life that just "didn't fit" me anymore. Sometimes we hold so tightly to the familiar because its easier and safer. But I’ve realized that the familiar isn’t always better and in some cases could be harmful.

2. I am stronger than I thought I was. Which is actually saying a lot because I’ve always believed that I was a strong woman. Freakishly strong. lol

3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I am wonderfully and beautifully made. I am perfect (i.e., whole, complete).

4. God never disappoints. Ever. There are things that He does that I don’t understand but I know that all things work together for good.

5. There are some things that God will do but then there are things that He has given me the power to do and I should do those things and stop waiting on Him.

The first six months have not been easy. I suppose making major changes never is and shouldn’t be. I’m glad these first six months are behind me and I’m looking forward to watching the next six months unfold.

The Countdown Begins

In 45 days I'll celebrate my 45th birthday and I'm afraid. Not of getting older or looking older or anything that has to do with being old, cause let's face it ... self-esteem is not an issue of mine.


I wasted a lot of time during my first 45. I've wasted it hating and being angry and bitter and not taking full advantage of the life that I have been blessed with. Sometimes I wake up mad for no reason at all. Sometimes when I'm getting ready for work in the morning I talk to myself and replay painful scenes of the past. Who does that? I am fearful that my next 45 will be much of the same and I cannot allow that happen. I will not wake up on my 45th birthday angry. I will not be this toxic, poisonous person that I have been. It's self-destructive and pointless. So, the next 45 days are crucial. My goal is to be better. I will drop the mask that I so often wear and I will be genuine and authentic. The next 45 days are going to be hard and a lot of it will be documented here. I'm the most guarded person I know so it may be especially difficult. I want God to show me something in the next 45 days. I want to discover something about myself but at the same time I know that those explorations can uncover some very painful truths. Each day will begin with scripture and prayer because when I'm lost I turn to God to be found. When I divorced I discovered that the struggle that I endured couldn't be compared to the blessings that were on the way. God never disappoints me.



I wrote this post before I heard of our dear Nikki's passing and now that I re-read it, it just seems much more important that I do something to make my next 45 mean something. Thanks for reading.

Hint: It's Not About the Lights

Life was not meant to spent beneath the glare of fluorescent lighting.

That's my quote for the day.

I've been viewed beneath the glare of fluorescent lighting, on and off, for about thirty years. And I have to tell you, it's not a pretty picture. It's harsh and unforgiving. It distorts and doesn't paint a true picture. I'm a beautiful woman but you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me underneath these lights.

I'm very excited that I can finally see the future and I'm proud to say that there are no fluorescent lights. The lighting is natural. Sometimes there are candles. It's calming and it's peaceful and it makes for a beautiful environment.

I have to go to a business dinner this evening. Normally, I would hate this sort of thing but not tonight. I'm excited to go. More material for me, and a free meal to boot. And the lighting will be perfect.

The Second Half

I’ve come to the conclusion after a week on the beach that I want to do better. I want to be better.

Except …

I’m a little lazy. I have a problem with accountability. And I’m not sure how to begin.

Besides that, I really do want to do better. I really do want to be better.

What do I mean?

Well, I just don’t believe that I’m living up to my potential. When I think back over the past few years and I recall all the things that I wanted to do; things I got really excited about yet never accomplished it makes me a little sad. A few years ago I was determined to learn how to play the piano. My guy bought me an electric keyboard and I was all hype, I practiced everyday and I was really beginning to understand how to read music … and then I got bored. The keyboard is sitting in my bedroom collecting dust. Another example was when I decided that since writer’s block was preventing me from finishing my second novel, I was going to be a freelance writer. I did tons of research and submitted tons of articles to various publications and I was really positive in the beginning. I figured that if I got started now than I would have a career established by the time the Princess graduated high school. I’d be set, right? Wrong. All the rejection letters were too much for me and I quit submitting.

In some respects I feel like a big fat failure. I know I’ve accomplished some things in my life. But for the most part I’m average. I’m living a life of mediocrity and I feel some kind of way about that. At (almost) 45, I feel some kind of way about that. I don’t want to enter old age feeling this way, man. I really don’t . I don’t want to work until I’m dead … unless I’m doing something that I love. My counselor asked me what I thought my next career would be. Honestly, I don’t want another career. I’ve been part of the American workforce for 30 friggin years and I’m tired. Enough already. I want to walk away from the Corporate world and write, write, write. That’s it. That’s all I want to do.

Obviously, I cannot just walk away because no one is throwing money at me to write, write, write. And don’t get me wrong, I do not hate my current job. Not really. I work for a great company and I like what I do and I’m good at what I do. I’m grateful to have a job which allows me to pay for my children's education and take great vacations. I’m blessed but I’m still longing …

Arrrrrrrgh!

I’ve got to make some changes and I’ve got to have a plan. I didn’t have a plan for the first half of my life. I didn’t plan on being married and divorced twice. I didn’t plan on moving to VA. I didn’t plan to raise two kids alone. None of it was planned so I’ve had to make do. I can’t make do anymore. I absolutely refuse to make do. Not for the second half. I’m older and I’m a lot smarter.

The week on the beach was wonderfully therapeutic. Being with the people that I love most did wonders for me. I have a good life. Sometimes, I allow myself to get bogged down in the day-to-day. I used to struggle to just get through each day. There’s a much bigger picture I just have to expand my point of view.

I may be rambling now and that’s okay. The bottom line is that I have work to do. I have to work to make the second half count.

Food For Thought

My kids refer to the times when I fed them Hamb.urger Hel.per and Manwich sloppy joes as "the good old days".

I call those the "broke old days".

In my mind, I was really struggling ... but to them we were doing alright.

Interesting.

The Days to Come

I'm still fat but I'm getting over it.

I had a small salad for lunch and a big salad for dinner ... with a side of hot wings. Geez, I have never been a person without self control where food is concerned. This must be payback for all the years of complaining about not being able to gain weight.

Anyway ...

Thanksgiving is over and now I have to spend the next 23 days watching commercials about Christmas, deleting spam about Christmas and watching Christmas specials. Since my kids are older this is my least favorite time of the year. It used to be fun but the commercialization of the holiday seems so much more apparent. I hate it.

I have ten people to buy for this year and five of them are between the ages of 14 and 21. That is going to be the most challenging. It's almost impossible to buy for young people. My daughter only wants clothes, which I cannot buy unless she is present. My son wants me to pay for his second tattoo. Oh joy!

I'm already looking beyond December and concentrating on the new year. I will not make any resolutions but there are a few things that I want to concentrate on: more reading and less television. I think at some point I made a vow not to buy anymore books until I've read all of my current ones. I may have one or two to go ... one is a 600-pager (or more) by Ke.n Foll.ett. I received it as a gift a few years ago and never started it; more cooking at home and less eating out. My budget can't stand how much I eat out and with the weather turning colder, who wants to go out anyway? And speaking of budgeting, I've got to discipline myself to stick to a budget. I have more "miscellaneous expenses" than the law should allow.

I'm looking forward to 2009. I'm going to be 45 in 2009. I remember when I turned 25 I was so depressed because I had determined at that point I would never be "young" again. Just a few short years away from 30 and then it's all down hill. Well, my perspective has definitely changed. I'm not that kind of young, but I'm still young. These are good years and I feel some major changes about to take place.

Me? Wrong? Part II

Are you willing to be wrong?

I think that most people that have reached adulthood and have been through a thing or two are more than willing to admit when they are wrong. Willing to admit when they have made a mistake and take responsibility for that mistake.

For most of us that's pretty easy.

"Your issue is that you have to examine your willingness to be wrong."

I sat across the desk from my COO as he told me this yesterday. I try awfully hard to keep my emotions in check. I try not to let eveyone know what I'm feeling and usually folks don't know for sure what I'm about or where I'm coming from and I like that. There is the rare occasion when some ridiculously perceptive person will see through the facade and read me like a harlequin romance. My boyfriend and my COO are two examples.

My boyfriend once told me that I was as intimidating as a Hello Kitty purse.

And my COO hit it on the head when he recognized that I am unwilling to be wrong. Not after the fact but before. What I mean is that, once I make a decision I stand by it and whatever happens happens. If I'm wrong -- so be it. But I find myself in situations when I refuse to do this or that because I don't want to be wrong. One example is in my professional life. I know my business and I'm good at it but I'm hesitant to try something new because I don't want to misstep or misspeak in a professional setting. I don't often volunteer information in meetings because I don't want to be wrong. I know how stupid that is because more times than not if I had spoken up I would have been right and then I kick myself for the rest of the day. As a Black woman in Corporate America I have to work so damned hard to be viewed as an equal and there are people in my office right now who lay in wait for me to screw up. F*ck those haters. If I wasn't good they wouldn't be on me like that. But I still watch my step. Another example can be found in my personal life. I have a guy that loves me more than anything but I won't marry him because I am not willing to be wrong for the third time.

Sitting there in the COOs office this reality hit me like a brick ... and I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Then I felt like a total loser for crying in the office. Whatever. I don't even know what the hell I was crying for. Was I crying over the realization that I'm really screwed up in the head? Was I upset because something very personal was unintentionally revealed?

I've got to get over this. I had an incredible interview yesterday morning followed up by another phone interview this afternoon. In total, I spoke with five people and the general consensus is that I'll be offered a position by the end of the week. Of course, I have not shared this with anyone because ... what if I'm wrong?

Me? Wrong?

I have a lot of things going on but I have to ask you this question:

Are you willing to be wrong?

I'll follow up soon ...

10 Things

This has been a crazy, hectic week. In the midst of the crazy I realized a few things about myself. Some good, some not-so-good, but still all me.

1. I work to a schedule and when that schedule is interrupted I become very agitated and I don't recover from that agitation quickly.

2. I'm totally enjoying Reisling month. I began with my old standby St. Michelle, then moved to a Mondavi which was just the best. Now, I'm trying a German brand called Schmitt Sohne. I'm having salmon tonight and I think they'll go well together.

3. There are entirely too many televisions in my house. This does not make for an environment which is conducive to effective writing.

4. I need more self-discipline.

5. I accept rejection today much better than I did six years ago.

6. I lack that hostess gene that some women possess so I hate entertaining.

7. I like carrying around a few extra pounds.

8. I have a man that loves, supports and encourages me no matter what. This whole week would have been unbearable without him by my side.

9. At age 43, I still yearn for my mother's approval.

10. I still know how to hold a grudge.

Thanks for reading. Love you guys.