Monday, February 28, 2011

No Exes

Good bye February. I’m not sorry to see you go. Thanks for getting up to 78 today.

I celebrated the end of February by taking the day off. I really needed a long weekend. Not sure why. I just needed it so I took it. I stayed in bed until about 10:00 and after showering and dressing I went to the Christian bookstore to pick up the workbook for my next study. Then I traveled to the MAC counter because I needed a few things to maintain my cute. Then I went to Sears to replace my broken DVD player. I came home and baked a chocolate chip quick bread and cleaned out the fridge of any leftovers that I know that no one will eat. Then I took a nap.

Pretty full day. I love unscheduled days off.

So, since Christmas time I’ve been communicating with a 20-year old ex. That would be someone I dated 20 years ago who has resurfaced. If you know me, you know that I do not maintain relationships with exes. I don’t see the point. If you are an ex, you need not to exist anymore. For real.

For some reason though … I really enjoy talking to him. We didn’t end badly. We both made mistakes and agreed that we should go our separate ways. Probably the best breakup I’ve ever had. If you can rate breakups that is.

Anyway, our conversations range from being completely on-the-surface to quite personal. We are not guarded when we speak to each other. Whatever is on our minds, comes out during the conversation. He told me he stopped drinking and I told him that I was celibate. We discuss our families, our jobs, past relationships. There doesn’t seem to be anything that is off limits. Sometimes we stroll together down memory lane and I’m not always sure if that’s a good idea. He likes to remind me of the girl I was twenty years ago. That girl was fun and sexy and ... fun. He was head over heels in love with that girl. That girl is gone. So far, the conversations are relatively harmless. I say “relatively” because sometimes after we hang up I allow myself to wonder … what if.

What if after all these years we are finding our way back to each other?

That notion is too romantic even for the sappiest of romantics.

I’ve never been friends with an ex. And I think that is because it is my belief that exes are exes for a reason. And in my experience when an ex resurfaces it’s because he thinks he can hit it again. Right or wrong that’s my truth.

With all that being said, I’m grateful for his friendship. I’m glad he made contact. I’m also glad he lives far, far away. Several states away. I am only human, after all.

5 comments:

Sandstone said...

I think that it's great that the two of you have reconnected. You're not the same people that you were 20 years ago. I would advise to not close the door of 'possibility' because he's in the 'EX' file. You just never know.

What happened before could have been RIGHT but just in the WRONG season. Everything has a 'due' season and if the timing is not right, it will seem like it is all wrong.

Remain open to the possibilities.

Carol said...

I'm exactly like you...I think exes are exes for a reason. He doesn't sound like a true ex though. Just sounds like you agreed to move on for various reasons. Just see where it goes.. you never know. Glad you took the day off...no one will ever say at heaven's gate...man, I wish I had worked more.

Have a great week.

Carol-the gardener

Eyes On The Prize (eyesOTP) said...

Well I'm ok with communicating with exes if things didn't end on bad terms. That's just me! :)

But you see...it's not THAT bad is it? To communicate with a past lover? Yeah you might think what if, but then those feelings might fade, or get stronger. You never know. Seeing that he lives far away might be good. Have you seen him in a photo lately? He may not even look that hot anymore! LOL. Anyway, I just go with the flow with that stuff. I love having male friends that are exes. We don't even talk about how we were when we were together. That's the truth. It's old news and those chapters are done. I just don't always think closing the BOOK is necessary. Not speaking to an ex could mean you have moved on, but speaking to them could mean that you have moved on too?

Enjoy the convos miss! Have fun!

TJ said...

I think that it is good that you can be friends now that you have evolved. Maybe there is hope that I can be more civil with more of my exes. :)

Beverly @ The Buzz said...

Never say never.....

Love your comment about maintaining your cute!