Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Restless

My alarm goes off every morning at 5:15

I hit the snooze button until about 5:40

I get out of bed and do 25 pushups

And 50 bicycle crunches

I take a shower

Wake up my daughter

Turn on Joyce Meyer

Make the bed

Lay out my clothes

Put on my makeup

Get dressed

Do my hair

Turn to the news to check the weather

Go downstairs and make my lunch

Make my breakfast

Jump on the internet

Finish my breakfast

Go back upstairs and brush my teeth

Turn off the television and head back downstairs to wait for the Princess

We leave the house by 7:00 am

I arrive at my office by 7:30 depending on the traffic.

And for the next nine hours I sit at a desk in a room with fluorescent lighting and answer questions, read terms and conditions, process modifications, sit in on conference calls and a bunch of other stuff that I cannot even remember I did by the end of the day. This is my weekday. No deviations whatsoever. Can you see why I get so excited about the weekend and an opportunity to mix it up a bit? Don’t get me wrong, I am terribly grateful to have a job which allows me to do whatever I want whenever I want. I am blessed. But I am also bored.

I can’t ask myself what happened because I know what happened. The “golden handcuffs” is what happened. I took a job 14 years ago and realized I was pretty good at it, or at least had the potential to be good at it and these people kept throwing money at me. I enjoy my lifestyle and in order to maintain it I need to do what I have to do. I don’t hate my job but I’m not in love with it either.

I think about downsizing once the kids are gone. But who knows when that will be? I’m hoping in less than five years.

I’m getting restless and I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I suppose that as long as my restlessness doesn’t lead to a foolish, impulsive decision I’m okay. Like, say uh, quitting my job, cashing in my retirement and opening a bookstore. Don’t think I haven’t thought about it.

Patience, Michele. That’s what I keep telling myself. Patience. Timing is everything.

I need a project.

Is it Friday yet?

2 comments:

Kristy said...

I hear ya. I have issues with getting bored too. I feel like I'm always needing some creative outlets to feel satisfied. Maybe you need a fun day off to yourself and do something new!

Sandstone said...

I was in that same place of restlessness about a year ago, I understand completely what you are feeling. My restlessness was leading wanting to walk in God's purpose for my life. And when I finally got the revelation of it, it came strong. I wrote about it on my blog, "How I Discovered My Purpose".

You're in this place right now because there is a transition about to take place in your life.