Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Search Continues

March is quickly approaching and if you’ve been around for a while you know that March is the month when I give something up. I don’t know why I chose March. Actually, I think March chose me. March 2008 I gave up alcohol . March 2009 was wine. And last year I had the bright idea to give up meat. It was easier to give up alcohol.

This year I’ve decided not to give up anything. Well not exactly. I’ve chosen to give up frivolity and purposelessness. I’m frustrated and I just have this feeling that I should be digging deeper. I feel like everything about my life is just on the surface and perhaps my frustration will lessen if I would only dig deeper.

LadyLee is over at her spot talking about “purpose” and this is a topic that has plagued me for years because I have no idea what mine is. I sit here day after day with a goofy smile on my face and convincing myself that all is well and the truth is all is NOT well. What am I if I don’t have a purpose? I know I have one. Do we only have one? Does our purpose change throughout our lives? I know that my purpose will not revealed to me during the 31 days of March but I also know that if I don’t diligently and purposefully seek the answers I will never find them.

The writer Robert Brault (www.robertbrault.com) says: There is a purpose to our lives that each day tugs at our sleeve as an annoying distraction. That sums it up for me perfectly. My purpose is like a bee buzzing around my head and when I try to grab it, it disappears only to show up again to annoy me some more.

Am I supposed to write another book? Am I supposed to pursue my dream of opening a business? Am I supposed to leave everything behind and move to the beach?

Whatever it is that I’m supposed to be doing, it looks nothing like what I’m currently doing.

Anyway, I’ll probably close up shop over here at Discoveries for the month of March.