I think this weekend is going to be one of those weekends where I just do nothing. Well, not totally … I have to take my daughter shopping to buy a dress for her father’s wedding. I have to work the information desk at church on Saturday night and I have two runs scheduled. So, there’s stuff going on but I’m just kind of feeling … blah. Can’t explain it, it’s just one of those things that happens every now and then.
Dealing with my kids and the cardiologists, my son’s financial aid, my daughter’s college plans, my father’s death … I’m just tired. Not just tired of dealing with things but dealing with things … alone.
I’m in dire need of a good cry. And some comfort food.
If one more person tells me that I’m strong and how admirable that is, my head is going to explode. The truth is, I’m strong because … what other choice do I have?
Truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way, but forgive me … I’m having a moment.
I can only do what I can do. And in my case, it is perceived that I can do every-friggin-thing.
There are moments when I really do wish I had someone to shoulder some of my responsibilities. Not just anyone, because as you know, I’ve had two husbands and they both added to my responsibilities instead of helping with them. My bad, for making poor choices. For whatever reason, I seemed to gravitate toward men who needed to be taken care of. I’m so through with that. I’ve been taking care of people for more than 20 years and I’m just tired.