Waiting on the Tarmac

The thing that irritates me the most about air travel (besides the ridiculous prices) is the uncertainty of it all. You buy your ticket and then you are in the hands of the airline, the airport and the dreaded TSA. Will my flight leave on time? Will I make my connecting flight? Will someone be in my seat? What zone am I in, again?

For a person like me, who prefers to be in control of every single situation this can be very trying. I’m learning, as I get older, to just let it go. I’ll get there when I get there. There is truly no point in getting my panties all in a bunch about a situation that I have absolutely no control over.

Have you ever had to wait on the tarmac? Picture this: You get to the airport two hours ahead of time because that is what they say you should do. You return your rental car and breeze though TSA without having to get patted down. You check the big boards to check your departure gate and make sure that you are still leaving on time. So far, so good. You get to your gate in plenty of time to read, relax, listen to music or just people watch. Finally, your flight is called and you are boarding. You are on the plane, your carry-on is secure in the overhead bin and you are seated in your aisle seat.

Then … nothing.

For whatever reason, the plane is not moving. You are stuck in this tube and you can’t get off and no one is telling you anything. All you can do is sit and wait.

Has this ever happened to you? Sucks, right? It happened to me a few years ago when I was coming back from Connecticut. The delay was weather-related and what I didn’t understand was why they had us board in the first place. It was awful. We sat for probably an hour, maybe longer which caused me to miss my connecting flight. So once I got to Pittsburgh (I think it was Pittsburgh) I had to find a flight back home to VA. I found a flight but I had to sit in this airport for six hours. Yes, six hours. And I had to call my (then) BF and have him go pick up my car from Newport News and move it to Norfolk. It was a mess.

I finally made it to my destination. I knew I would but I just had to take a few detours and endure the inconvenience.

Thinking about this experience had me thinking about the current state of my life. I mean, it’s December and the end of yet another year and I’m getting all reflective. I look back on 2011 and I see that the year has actually been pretty amazing. I started running and competed in 3 5ks and will finish the year with one more. I’m healthier and stronger. I’m really happy. But I know there’s something more.

I feel like I’m waiting on the tarmac. I’ve done everything that I can do in order to make the trip and reach the destination but I’m still waiting. Waiting for that next thing. The next career, the next relationship, the next … something.

When I ended my relationship with what’s-his-face back in February 2010 that was the equivalent to me packing for the trip. For the year after that I feel like I was returning the rental car, going through TSA and waiting at the gate. I was busy but not overly so. The next six months was boarding the plane and the anticipation was rising. Now, for the past four months I’ve been sitting on the tarmac ready to go but not able to. I don’t know what’s next. I know I’m going to reach my destination but I just don’t know when. And sometimes I think that because I am so content in my present circumstance maybe this is it. Maybe I’m here.

I don’t know. I feel like there is more but I can honestly say that if this is it I can be content, and anything extra will be the sweetest icing on the cake.