Monday, June 25, 2012
Riding the Roller Coaster
I do not like roller coasters. Never have. Never will. The ups, the downs, the head rush, the stomach flip-flops … it’s terrible. I like a smooth steady ride. However, I’ve lived long enough to know that life will not always allow me to enjoy that smooth steady ride. And if I’m being honest, a lifetime of steady rides would be a little boring.
That being said, my weekend felt like a 48-hour roller coaster ride.
Saturday morning, bright and early the Princess and I headed off to her college campus for her freshman orientation. It was a great day. We received a lot of information, she got her photo taken for her student ID, we bought some t-shirts sporting the school name, etc.
My ex-husband was with us and he was totally involved. He made it a point of letting me know that if the school contacts me about anything related to financial matters I have to let him know and make sure that I communicate that information to him. Initially, I was conflicted by that comment. My flesh resented him for trying to swoop in now and be Super Dad. My spirit spoke up and told me to be quiet. My spirit reminded me that he is hurting for his lack of participation over the last 11 years and now he’s trying to make up for it and I have to let him. Thankfully, my spirit won this conflict and I kept my mouth shut. We both love our daughter and it’s silly to try and compete over who can love her the most.
Afterward, we came home and I went to church. And for whatever reason, during service it hit me that in a few months I’ll be driving her back to the campus and I’ll be dropping her off. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Everything will be fine. I just need to breathe.
In other news, I had a dinner date on Sunday evening. A real date. I had forgotten how nice it can be to sit across a table from a man and enjoy a meal and conversation. A nice man. A nice, handsome, educated, financially secure, respectful man.
I’ve always said that I wouldn’t think about getting serious with anyone until after my daughter graduated. It was only a first date so “serious” hasn’t even entered the equation but still …
All weekend, up and down and up and down. The weekend ended on a high note and for that I am so grateful.