Monday, June 25, 2012

Riding the Roller Coaster



I do not like roller coasters. Never have. Never will. The ups, the downs, the head rush, the stomach flip-flops … it’s terrible. I like a smooth steady ride. However, I’ve lived long enough to know that life will not always allow me to enjoy that smooth steady ride. And if I’m being honest, a lifetime of steady rides would be a little boring.


That being said, my weekend felt like a 48-hour roller coaster ride.

Saturday morning, bright and early the Princess and I headed off to her college campus for her freshman orientation. It was a great day. We received a lot of information, she got her photo taken for her student ID, we bought some t-shirts sporting the school name, etc.

My ex-husband was with us and he was totally involved. He made it a point of letting me know that if the school contacts me about anything related to financial matters I have to let him know and make sure that I communicate that information to him. Initially, I was conflicted by that comment. My flesh resented him for trying to swoop in now and be Super Dad. My spirit spoke up and told me to be quiet. My spirit reminded me that he is hurting for his lack of participation over the last 11 years and now he’s trying to make up for it and I have to let him. Thankfully, my spirit won this conflict and I kept my mouth shut. We both love our daughter and it’s silly to try and compete over who can love her the most.

Afterward, we came home and I went to church. And for whatever reason, during service it hit me that in a few months I’ll be driving her back to the campus and I’ll be dropping her off. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Everything will be fine. I just need to breathe.

In other news, I had a dinner date on Sunday evening. A real date. I had forgotten how nice it can be to sit across a table from a man and enjoy a meal and conversation. A nice man. A nice, handsome, educated, financially secure, respectful man.

I’ve always said that I wouldn’t think about getting serious with anyone until after my daughter graduated. It was only a first date so “serious” hasn’t even entered the equation but still …

All weekend, up and down and up and down. The weekend ended on a high note and for that I am so grateful.


6 comments:

Diva (in Demand) said...

This is just a heads up that I'm sending you an email instead of leaving a comment (funny how quick I can type when you say DATE versus when you ask me a question huh)

Anonymous said...

You had your "moment"!!!! Can a brotha get a phone call to share? :)
mpo

Tarsha! said...

I remember when I took W to college two hours away....cried like a doggone baby. I was a mess!

After a couple of days I was fine because she was fine!

What a transition...for you and her!

A date huh? LOL

LadyLee said...

Now that's what I call a rollercoaster ride!

Thank goodness for our spirits :)

elayne said...

heyyyy Chele!!

i've missed reading you & i'm so glad Blu Jewel pointed me in the right direction to find some of my old blogger buddies.

ok, about your post...
hell, you know i know a thing or two (or three) about emotional roller-coasters. so, what i say is... hang on & enjoy the ride cause i think you're amazing!! :)

peace & light

Single Ma said...

I can relate 100%. I experienced the college transition 2 years ago and I'm going through the dating phase now. The roller coaster ride is definitely a scary one, but it's exciting as well. In a year, you will be happy your baby girl is gone. LOL! And the dates...well, we win some, we lose some. *shrug* At the end of it all, I hope we both land firmly on our feet. Enjoy the ride!