I had to make a quick stop to the market after work last night. I had no groceries and no time because I also had to get ready for class that evening. I pull into the parking lot, jump out of my car and dash into the market, still in my work outfit – nothing special just a black and white dress with peep toe shoes.
There was a man at the register checking out and he glanced my way and we made eye contact. I spoke, he spoke and I kept it moving. He was tall, dark, attractive and wearing a bright yellow vest signifying that he worked for the city.
So I’m over in produce selecting sweet potatoes and out of the corner of my eye I see a bright yellow vest.
Him: I got out to my car but I had to come back so I could talk to you.
Him: My name is __________. What is your name?
And small talk ensues. I hate small talk but I smiled and was pleasant. I answered his questions and asked a few of my own. It was getting to the point where I wanted to look at my watch but I didn't. Finally he asks if we could exchange numbers. I politely declined but thanked him for coming back into the store. He asked why and I explained that I just wasn't in a place where I could get involved like that. He accepted my answer, expressed that he hoped we'd see each other again (in the grocery store?) and went on his way.
I tell this story because coincidentally (or not) on the way to the store I was talking to myself (as I often do) about dating and marriage. I told myself that the idea of marriage is beautiful. When I think about marriage I always smile. But is that my reality? Could I have a marriage that would make me smile? Then I asked myself the million dollar question: Do I think that having a husband would somehow improve the quality of my current life? The answer was a resounding and immediate NO.
I’m not swearing off men or marriage but I know that FOR ME, at this current point in my life, getting wrapped up in a relationship is not the right thing. And I am not interested in casually dating either. If I do accept a date it will be because the guy is definitely husband-material. Otherwise, I can’t see wasting my time. I've done enough of that in the last 30+ years.