Double Take

I had to make a quick stop to the market after work last night.  I had no groceries and no time because I also had to get ready for class that evening.  I pull into the parking lot, jump out of my car and dash into the market, still in my work outfit – nothing special just a black and white dress with peep toe shoes. 

There was a man at the register checking out and he glanced my way and we made eye contact.  I spoke, he spoke and I kept it moving.  He was tall, dark, attractive and wearing a bright yellow vest signifying that he worked for the city.

So I’m over in produce selecting sweet potatoes and out of the corner of my eye I see a bright yellow vest.

Him:  I got out to my car but I had to come back so I could talk to you.

Me:  Okay

Him:  My name is __________.  What is your name?

Me:  Michele

And small talk ensues.  I hate small talk but I smiled and was pleasant.  I answered his questions and asked a few of my own.  It was getting to the point where I wanted to look at my watch but I didn't.  Finally he asks if we could exchange numbers.  I politely declined but thanked him for coming back into the store.  He asked why and I explained that I just wasn't in a place where I could get involved like that.  He accepted my answer, expressed that he hoped we'd see each other again (in the grocery store?) and went on his way.

I tell this story because coincidentally (or not) on the way to the store I was talking to myself (as I often do) about dating and marriage.  I told myself that the idea of marriage is beautiful.  When I think about marriage I always smile.  But is that my reality?  Could I have a marriage that would make me smile?  Then I asked myself the million dollar question:  Do I think that having a husband would somehow improve the quality of my current life?  The answer was a resounding and immediate NO.

I’m not swearing off men or marriage but I know that FOR ME, at this current point in my life, getting wrapped up in a relationship is not the right thing.  And I am not interested in casually dating either.  If I do accept a date it will be because the guy is definitely husband-material.  Otherwise, I can’t see wasting my time.  I've done enough of that in the last 30+ years.