Thursday, April 11, 2013

Double Take

I had to make a quick stop to the market after work last night.  I had no groceries and no time because I also had to get ready for class that evening.  I pull into the parking lot, jump out of my car and dash into the market, still in my work outfit – nothing special just a black and white dress with peep toe shoes. 

There was a man at the register checking out and he glanced my way and we made eye contact.  I spoke, he spoke and I kept it moving.  He was tall, dark, attractive and wearing a bright yellow vest signifying that he worked for the city.

So I’m over in produce selecting sweet potatoes and out of the corner of my eye I see a bright yellow vest.

Him:  I got out to my car but I had to come back so I could talk to you.
Me:  Okay
Him:  My name is __________.  What is your name?
Me:  Michele

And small talk ensues.  I hate small talk but I smiled and was pleasant.  I answered his questions and asked a few of my own.  It was getting to the point where I wanted to look at my watch but I didn't.  Finally he asks if we could exchange numbers.  I politely declined but thanked him for coming back into the store.  He asked why and I explained that I just wasn't in a place where I could get involved like that.  He accepted my answer, expressed that he hoped we'd see each other again (in the grocery store?) and went on his way.

I tell this story because coincidentally (or not) on the way to the store I was talking to myself (as I often do) about dating and marriage.  I told myself that the idea of marriage is beautiful.  When I think about marriage I always smile.  But is that my reality?  Could I have a marriage that would make me smile?  Then I asked myself the million dollar question:  Do I think that having a husband would somehow improve the quality of my current life?  The answer was a resounding and immediate NO.

I’m not swearing off men or marriage but I know that FOR ME, at this current point in my life, getting wrapped up in a relationship is not the right thing.  And I am not interested in casually dating either.  If I do accept a date it will be because the guy is definitely husband-material.  Otherwise, I can’t see wasting my time.  I've done enough of that in the last 30+ years.


Tarsha! ( said...

You better be fine Ms. Chele! Be a hot sexy momma!

I love that you are fully self aware of your desire alone but NOT lonely!

shai said...

Gurl you are looking GREAT. You still can attract.

Single Ma said...

You look fabulous and you know YOU better than anyone else. No explanation needed. Have a great weekend!