Thursday, June 6, 2013


This post is non-fitness related and fueled by emotion.  In other words:  I am pissed!

Dear Married Men:  Stop giving your phone number out to single women and then acting like “you didn't expect anything to come from it”. 

Why does this happen?  Why are (some) men still engaging in such douche-baggery?  I have no patience for such nonsense. 

So here’s what happened:  I take a class in the evenings and there’s a man in the class and each week we exchange pleasantries, joke back and forth … whatever, nothing serious.  He speaks, I speak and we keep it moving.  Last night, during our break I got up and went into the break room and a few minutes later he walks in.  We talked about nothing for about five minutes.  Then he went back to class.  I lingered for a few more minutes and then I went back to class.  When I got back to my desk I see that he has left his phone number under my notebook.  I thought this strange since we were just talking to each other.  Why not say something about exchanging numbers then?  I thought it was because he was shy and didn't want to get shot down in front of anybody.  So I sent him a text this afternoon and told him to call me when he got a chance.  He did and we start talking.  He begins the conversation by telling me how beautiful I am.  Okay.  He goes on to drop a few more details about himself.  His birthday (two days before mine), his age (six years my junior), non-smoker, non-drinker, occupation, etc.  Now it’s my turn to ask my questions (1) are you married (2) are you in a relationship (3) do you have children.  I didn't have to ask questions (2) and (3) after he replied to number (1) in the affirmative. 

Why did you give me your number?
I didn't expect anything to come of it.  It’s just a harmless conversation.
Really?  Are you on your way home to tell your wife all about it?
No.  I hadn't planned on it.
Why not?  It’s just a harmless conversation.  Nothing you couldn't share with her.

He quickly changed the subject and began talking about our class, the professor and the upcoming assignments.  I told him I was disappointed.  Not that he was married but that he was the kind of married man that handed out his phone number to single women.

I envision being single for the rest of my life.  And if it means that I avoid douche bags like that and drama and games and all the rest of it, well that’s alright with me.

I feel better now.  Woo-sah.


LadyLee said...

They do it because they get a lot of women who take the bait. That's why.

All it takes is one desperate or lonely woman. That's all it takes.

I messed around with a married man when I was 19. Just out of curiosity. I was young and stupid. Too old for that now. It is wrong solution to an internal problem.

Anonymous said...



Eric Payne said...

Hope I don't beat up here. I concur many are douches. But some (of which I am not) are lonely or unsatisfied in their marriages for whatever reason and begin to get stupid in the name of seeking some sort of validation. Whether the guy is a sad sack or a douche my best advice would be to leave him alone (as you know) because no good will come of it. As someone who was once single and took a married woman's number there is nothing harmless about it - the fantasy is figuring nothing will come of it but hoping that is does - with no thought of what happens next if (and when) it does, then once it "does" there's no exit strategy - not one that isn't messy and doesn't invite generational bad karma onto your life. And no worries you won't be single forever if you don't want to be. The bible says, "wanting for what you don't have makes your heart sick" (paraphrased) - it's when you forget you want something that it comes if you (general you) want love - not some predetermined idea of what a man should be to you - he will come, just don't toss him away because he doesn't look the way you thought he would or come with the trappings you think he should. Just my two cents.