Friday, June 20, 2014


There comes a time in everyone’s life when they’ve just had enough. 
I’ve come to this point many times in my life actually.  What usually follows is some kind of drastic change or emotional outburst.  I’m really too old for emotional outbursts.  They never end well and I never feel better afterwards.  I need a more effective way of handling stress. 
Yoga maybe.

I tend not to deal with things as they happen.  I have a tendency to hold my tongue opting to deal with things at a later time.  Unfortunately, “a later time” never materializes and the issue doesn’t go away,  it just sits there – waiting to emerge in a negative way.

On a more positive note, I have a two vacations coming up!  I’ll be traveling to Texas next month to be in my brother’s wedding. 

I am so happy for him and my future sister-in-law.  It does my heart good to see such a happy couple willing to commit to each other.  Then in September I’m going to Hawaii, baby. 
This is going to be the trip of a lifetime.  I can’t think of a better way to celebrate my 50th year.

Fifty years!  It seems like such a long time … until you’re actually there.   In some ways, it feels like the blink of an eye but when I look back over all the experiences that I’ve had it feels like a lot longer.  Thinking about it makes me kinda tired.  I’ve packed quite a bit into the first 50 and I still have so much to do.
I get annoyed when I see the quotes announcing that “50 is the new …” Fifty is not the new anything.  Fifty is 50.  I have a hard time defining it because once upon a time I certainly looked at 50 as being old and incapable of doing much.  I do more now than I ever did at 30, that’s for sure.  I’m not 30 and I don’t want to be 30.  Thirty sucked – at least for me it did.  Forty was cool and I know that 50 is going to be spectacular.
Change can be difficult for people and I can’t say I’m exactly looking forward to all the changes that are about to take place but I’m open to them.  They are necessary and are leading me to a happier state of mind.  I am a creature of habit and I’m most comfortable when I have an established routine – but how boring is that? That’s why it takes me so long to get stuff – I didn’t get my first smartphone until 2010 – and that was a Blackberry (face palm).  This weekend I’m getting my first tablet.  I never hop on the trends because I “like the way things are”.  But I think I miss out on quite a bit by not changing sooner.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, I’m rambling.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend.


LadyLee said...

This post reminds me of TD. Jakes new "Instinct" book and series right now. Check out on youtube. A couple of big sermons on life changes on the subject matter by him over there. Very informative. Let's me know that those feelings are normal and mean that it is time to step out and do something about it.

I too don't want to go back to "30". That was a difficult time in my life.

I too like an established routine. But it is more out of necessity. I don't care for following trends when it means following whatever "the crowd" is doing. Love it when it leads to something unique and different from what the crowd is doing, and when it's specific to my goals, needs and purposes.

Aaaaah vacation! I need one of those.

Anonymous said...

What an inspiring post Chele. Of late, I was struggling with the idea of some major changes I'll be going through and I was worked up something terrible. Instead of completely losing it, which is not my typical reaction anyway, but I've been ridiculously hormonal lately, I simply accepted it. I made the necessary phone call, I was proactive in what I needed to do, and then I accepted that change is necessary and allowed God to step in and do His will. I checked Facebook and saw a scripture post that was RIGHT.ON.TIME for what I was going through and feeling. I've since seen two more scripture verses that spoke comfort to my soul. I feel blessed beyond measure to know that I truly stepped out on faith and let God do His work.

My favourite cousin who is also my best friend, is in town and staying with me for a few days and that has given me a comfort that I needed; especially because I have no family in my home state. I'm enjoying the freedom of being and don't feel guilty for letting go.

I feel your joy radiating through this post and I'm so very happy for you. I've followed you for many years and know your story, so I continue to wish you well.

I'm a little over 3 years shy of 50 and look forward to yet another amazing change in my life. Like you, I wouldn't want to go back to earlier times in my life; wait, that's a lie, there is this one time...Haha! I digress. With each decade I've learned something amazing, experienced some hurtful things, but most importantly, I feel the shell of my being becoming smoother and know that my time to truly shine is pending.

Sorry for the long comment, but you've been an inspiration more than you know.